Linn-Benton Backwash

Partnering with Mid Valley Harvest, the Kiger Island Blues blueberry farm had a great idea: to use their delicious resource to get people out picking berries, and simultaneously collect donations for the victims of the hurricane and subsequent flood in Houston. All of the picking proceeds are on their way towards feeding those in need. Why not send the blueberries directly? Well, diarrhea is never good, but worse when you’re waste deep in water. Don’t get me wrong, I love blueberries (especially Kiger Island’s), but when you eat 10 pounds of them and forget to drink water…. woooah nelly.

On Monday many things were closed in Linn and Benton counties, including banks, government offices, booze stores, the courts (whew!), newspaper offices (except for us, because we love you), colleges, public pools, the library…. what the hell? Was there some kind of holiday going on or something?

Ever heard of Dr. Mark Rose? Now you have. He just got bumped from his sweet gig as an emergency room doctor over at Samaritan. Why, was he just too damn good? Nope. He had built a lab to make concentrated marijuana and had a bunch of 55 gallon drums of pot laying around. For medicinal use. Get it? He’s a doctor? No? Fine. He was busted in conjunction with a few other people, including two really doofy-looking guys. Golden rule bros: don’t sample the goods.

The Lebanon Log: Things have been mostly boring around here, besides some fireworks being set off in a mailbox on the 28th. On the 30th someone stole a phone AND its charger from a parking lot, which… quick thinking, I suppose. And in a feat of less-quick thinking, some total goon tried to use a fake $100 bill at a Dutch Bros. A few days ago I saw a big drone fly over a field near our house and heard someone yell “ITS AL KAYDA!” (that’s how I imagine they spelled it). That’s about it. Shameful, I know.

By Johnny Beaver

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