Linn-Benton Backwash

What I learned today in local media: Asparagus is the sign of spring, not the groundhog, there was a crash on the road somewhere, there’s some political stuff going on, someone had a birthday, there has been weather of various kinds, and I found a great link to $7.99 pizzas from Pizza Hut. Also, I should mention the “10 Twists on Favorite After-School Snacks” from someone named Orville Redenbacher, but after spending considerable time with that material… I just can’t recommend it. It seemed a little biased towards popcorn, and I’m into pure, unadulterated, objectivity. Ohhhh yeah…

In baseball news, the Trojans beat the Beavers and… well…  do I actually need to craft the joke for you this time around?

In other news, Albany coppers seized $4,000 in cash and some drugs in a raid last week. $4,000 may not sound like a whole lot, but after they laid it out all nicely on a table for a press photo, it seemed quite bigly. Some guy was arrested, but there’s nothing particularly funny about his mug shot, so I’ll leave him be. Stuff found on site included heroin, meth, coke, steroids, some prescription drugs, and a Crystal Pepsi.

The Lebanon Log: On the 20th, Walmart was ripped off for almost $680, and also continued to suck money out of the local economy by paying low wages and shipping profits out of state. That same day, some other stuff happened, but it wasn’t nearly as interesting. Lastly, on the 20th a drunk guy peed in the Ralston Park Rose Garden. That and “gemstones” were thieved. Real life gemstones.

By Johnny Beaver

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