As the State Turns

stateturnssymbolOregon Officials Speak Out on Immigration
Many top media posts at the start of the week involved quoting state officials in regards to Trump’s immigration orders. The general take away is that they’re disgusting, and that Donald John Trump is a big, bloated sack of stupid that couldn’t float its way out of a turd canal. And I don’t even know what the hell that means.

Our Attorney General, Ellen Rosenblum, stated that discriminating based on national original is illegal, meanwhile there seems to have been an increase in Immigration and Customs people tomfoolery in Portland. Perhaps that legality is changing? Doubtful. I just don’t want Trump to feel bad about himself – he might “send in the Feds” somewhere. To do something.

Also meanwhile, Senator Jeff Merkley was all like, “This administration sucks, and they’re attacking the crap out of people that don’t deserve it.” Congressional Dude Earl Blumenauer added this: “Yeah!” And also something about families being ripped asunder, and cruelty and unjust stuff.

Across the river (maybe, I’m not sure where Blumenauer was standing) Portland State University claimed to have 76 students from countries named in Trump’s asinine order, and they expressed their intent to help those students in a post-order America. PSU also announced itself as a “sanctuary,” which, if you happened to read the Linn-Benton Backwash this week – good lord. Please, rescue me from this. I wanted to attend PSU, but now I’m not even sure if it’s real.

The Governator herself, Kate Brown, also chimed in with a message that read sort of like this: “We actually can’t use tax money to run around snatching up undocumented people like criminals. Sorry, dude.”

Since the order, a small, ragtag band of merry folk have been protesting it at the Portland International Airport. Reports indicate that they haven’t even mentioned the change in carpet yet, so you know they mean business.

Oregon has taken in 5,000 refugees over the last small handful of years.

The Legacy of LaVoy
You may remember Robert “LaVoy” Finicum, the Malheur occupier with a death wish that came true. His wife has announced her intention to sue both federal and state law enforcement over the traffic stop shooting death of her husband. Her lawyer, Brian Claypool, has stated that because Finicum and those in the car had not committed a serious crime – such as robbing a bank (the banks are super important), or murdering someone, that there was no probable cause to pull them over.

I mean, they did take over a federal building, destroy property, dig a giant hole to crap in, order dildos on eBay and blame it on protesters, and walk around with a bunch of guns insinuating that they’d use them if the Federales tried to retake the building. And it did wind up costing Oregon taxpayers almost $3.5 million, as well as at least $6 million more just to restore the refuge. Of course, there’s also the mental and emotional trauma of those living in the area, not to mention the rest of us who had to read or write about these yokels for a month and a week.

But nah, law enforcement had no reason to stop them as they drove away from the compound in search of snacks.

The officer who shot and killed Finicum was previously cleared of wrongdoing in an investigation. It is expected that hundreds will gather for the one-year anniversary of Finicum’s death, where they will undoubtedly dig a hole and poop in it. Out of respect.

As You May Know…
…anyone who gives a rat’s a*s about the environment is watching the Environmental Protection Agency like hawks as it transitions under Trumpian rule. Everything from state agencies to tribes and miscellaneous environmental programs in the state of Oregon have been among the most anxious watchers, wondering what will happen if the hundreds of millions of dollars the federal government usually supplies is gutted, or dries up completely. While a temporary freeze on both grants and communications has been lifted, it has done little to soothe those whose lives depend on a progressive, science-based EPA and the associated big bucks that help make the world go ‘round.

Personally, I think we’ll be just fine if we stop trying to clean up toxic materials, halt research, work on improving clean water sources, or constructing air quality gizmos on reservations. Oh, and seriously, what the hell do we need to restore habitats and rivers for?

Besides, Trump is draining the EPA’s swamp by cutting its staff in half. That’ll surely help.

-By Johnny Beaver

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