Wembley-Don ‘Wembles’ Von Lipschitz
Assistant Johnny Beaver
Weighing in at 30 pounds, Wembley-Don “Wembles” Von Lipschitz enjoys flopping, rubbing and lying on things, and gets very anxious when his food bowl is not overflowing.
Assistant Steve Schultz
Mocha swears whining will shorten one’s drive to the trailhead, protects the couch, and believes steak and carrots are God.
Assistants Kyle Bunnell and Stevie Beisswanger
Yeti is a sweet marshmallow monster. She’s been known to turn dog people into cat people.
Assistant Regina Pieracci
May knows Mandarin. Her family does not know Mandarin, but if they play YouTube clips of dog commands it’s almost like they do.
Assistant Kiki Genoa
Mosie is actually a cartoon.
Harry, Bo, Cecilia & Macy
Assistant Anthony Vitale
Bo has masochistic tendencies, often abusing his owners emotionally. Cecilia was born a baby and never grew out of it. Harry is a bastard with a fused retina and neurological issues. Macy is very proper, she gets mad when laughed at or insulted.
Assistant Jamie Asunsolo
Buddha is equally as offended as Asunsolo’s son about hiking.
Acquaintance John M. Burt
Chicken lived in Burt’s chicken coop. Eventually, Chicken decided Burt was too scary, with his soft words and bowls of food, and stopped coming around. All the best, Chicken.
Molly & Melody
Assistant Kara Beu
Melody is fond of looking out windows, lying in boxes, and chewing on plastic.
Molly loves making nose art on the car window and barking at pedestrians. She is an employed route carrier for The Advocate.
Chesapeake, Fred & Alexandria
Assistant Matthew Hunt
Fred is a corrugated cardboard construction engineering specialist.
Alexandria has her status protected by diplomatic immunity.
Chesapeake is Hunt’s only trustworthy animal companion.
Dessa, aka Lil Wheezy
Assistant Anika Lautenbach
Dessa is a super chatty house cat with little
to no survival skills. She enjoys eating, lying around, and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Assistant Annika Darling
Gauge is a happy dork obsessed with balls and fetch. His tricks are Eskimo kisses and telling secrets, meaning he’ll lick your ear if you lean down and ask him to tell you a secret.