Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwash1There was a mild to moderate fire under the Marys River Bridge in Corvallis last Friday. There’s a homeless camp there and we’re all really thankful nobody was hurt. If it dropped another 10 degrees I’d set myself on fire to keep warm, so I’ve got no blame to throw around here. Elsewhere in Corvallis a man busted into a donation shed to escape the cold, and awoke the next day to find a member of CPD who helped him into a new pair of socks, a blanket, jacket, etc. The owner of the shed didn’t press charges. See? Not all news is bad. You heard it here first.

Though, some of it is. The Albany Police Department is looking into the possible theft of a bunch of donated toys. Some woman showed up and took them, I guess. Nobody knows whether she was from Toys for Tots or not. Hopefully this was just a miscommunication, because there is a special room in hell for people who steal toys. I won’t go into details, but I heard it involves Michael Bay and fruitcake.

OH MY GOD, ANOTHER STORM IS COMING TO THE WILLAMETTE VALLEY. On Monday. Which was several days ago. Whew, that was a close one!

Last month the Lebanon High School Warriors won their first state title (though they’ve been flattening the other local teams for years), whippin’ some Wilsonville a*s. And I’m pleased to announce that eight outstanding Warriors were subsequently selected for all-state teams.

The Lebanon Log: I’m spending the holidays in Lebanon this year, and I’m proud to report that it is currently 11:42 a.m. and I have yet to see someone on methamphetamine shambling down Airport Road. Granted, there was a grown-a*s man pushing a children’s pink baby stroller down past Grandpa’s Grocery, but hey, that’s cool. No judgments. I’m clearly not one in a position to lecture people on doing weird sh*t.

By Johnny Beaver

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