Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwash1There is to be a meeting from 5:30 to 7 p.m. on Tuesday, Dec. 13 at the Waldorf School in Corvallis as part of  a rekindled effort to get a bike path going from Corvallis to Albany. If all goes as planned, nobody will piss off any farmers this time around and commuters will eventually be able to enjoy swerving all over Highway 34 without hitting anyone in a windbreaker.

Local media has reported Lebanon getting a jump on Christmas with last Saturday’s Twilight Parade, but they seem to be forgetting that the Super Walmart started selling ornaments back in October. Granted, there could be some confusion due to the recent initiative to rename said store to “Place where warrants are served and people steal beauty products, Muscle Milk, and ironic slippers.”

As some of you undoubtedly know, I’m a huge fan of the advertising on the Gazette-Times’ website. This morning I saw one from the prestigious Christie’s auction house, which linked to some awesome post-war art in the $10,000-plus range. I don’t know why this is funny, but I’d stake my life on the fact that it is. On the other hand, my life isn’t worth all that much right now, so spin the wheel, Raggedy Man.

Speaking of which, you might want to put this boring rag down and zip on over to the Democrat-Herald’s website, as they have an entire section dedicated to different mugshot links. Also speaking of which, that guy who whipped out a machete in an Albany bar fight back in July will be facing trial this month. Keith John Stewart (no relation) may have gone a little overboard, but there’s no denying that he’s got style.

A big congratulations to all of you local college students who just finished fall term, because that one was rough, am I right? If you’re reading this, please… put it down and take a nap.

By Johnny Beaver

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