Linn-Benton Backwash

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linnbentonbackwashIf you were between the ages of 7 and 35 in 1990, you know all about being squashed in the back of a trash truck. Why? Well, that’s what killed “The Shredder.” Only, of course, it didn’t, because he comes back in the next movie. There are literally dozens of forum posts out there dedicated to debating whether or not his survival was realistic… because, as we all know, even a hardcore ninja dressed up in a… space jazzercise suit… is subject to the laws of physics.

Talk about burying the lead: It turns out there is now proof that he could have lived, because a man sleeping in a dumpster in Albany last week was grabbed up by a trash truck and fully compacted at least twice before the driver noticed someone chucking cardboard out of the back of the truck. The man suffered only a broken leg. But! As it turns out, this wasn’t the only dumpster-squishing event in the last handful of years—only the first example wasn’t so lucky, having not survived the incident.

I think there is a lesson to be learned here, but search me. /shrug

Last Sunday, some terribly annoying shutdowns started of our beloved Highway 20 (between Corvallis and Newport). Apparently they’ve got to blow some stuff up and clear rocks, etc. Total closures should only be between 7:30 p.m. and 5:30 a.m., but with these jokers, who knows? The effort is designed to get rid of that winding section that has been killing people left and right—intended to be finished in 2009, they’ve now blown their budget by a couple of hundred million dollars. They totally need one of those “Your Tax Dollars at Work” signs. Downtime looks to stretch all the way to Halloween. Still need to travel and think you’ll run into closures? Try Highway 34—it’s the most insanely boring drive I’ve ever experienced. You’re welcome.

By Johnny Beaver

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