Last week a man from Lebanon was busted for setting a bunch of dumpsters on fire in Corvallis. Mr. Kenneth Jolly (true story) has been tagged with a number of felonies for first-degree arson, mischief, and an additional mischief misdemeanor for good measure. Six dumpsters in total were set ablaze outside of Sky High Brewing, the Corvallis Cannabis Pub, Big River, and Second Glance. Estimates of the cost of damage are in the thousands.
Now I know what you’re going to say… “But Johnny, haven’t you been reporting on trash bin fires in the Lebanon area over the last few weeks?” Why yes, yes I have. Dude from Lebanon, similar fires in Lebanon. Eh, nevermind. It’s a stretch at best.
Now, you know, and I know… the newspaper business is hard. Terribly, terribly hard. But when I swung by the G-T offices at 600 SW Jefferson Avenue… and saw what was happening… my heart sank. Excavators, bulldozers, people pissing into the rubble (out of respect). Overnight, they were just gone. I, just. I’m speechless. Greener pastures, ladies and gents. Greener pastures. We here at The Advocate are with you. Mind, body… spirit. Respect.
::Moment of silence::
On a happier note, falling gas prices have kicked the Sweet Home bus system in the pants! Woo! And there’s that, I suppose.
Sunday before last, someone reported that a dog had been stolen in Lebanon. Literally, someone drove up in a truck and stole a dog. Unless you were really, really hungry, why would you do that? Dogs are a pain in the a*s. I’m staring at my parents’ dog Pete right now, and I know that look. He’s going to take a dump on the couch first chance he gets.
Last Thursday the 14th there was a grass fire in Lebanon that took out about 10 acres. Caused by a runaway trailer (yes, that happens in real life… I guess), the fire swept towards a home, but had its a*s kicked by local firefighters before it was too late. And there’s your sort of “good” fire news for the week.
By Johnny Beaver