Open Source Improv, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 12th St. 9 p.m. Free
I’ve got a crazy-good idea for you, my loving readers, to guinea pig for me. And I feel like that’s a completely solid read on the nature of our relationship, so here goes: it’s a gym for people who like to laugh while they get their pump on. Welcome to The Gymprov. Stand-ups and improv troupes do their routines live on stage, and here’s the rub, the microphones and lights are all powered by the ellipticals and treadmills in the audience. So if the act isn’t funny and people stop working out, they get cut off. I know. It’s genius. But for all you haters not trying to invest in The Gymprov, I suppose you could go to this monthly comedy show at Cloud to get your funny bone tickled.
EDM Thursdays, Riley’s Billiards Bar & Grill, 124 SW Broadalbin St., Albany. 9 p.m. Free
I don’t know, millennials. What do you want me to tell you? Maybe we wouldn’t all treat you like such morons if the stuff you liked wasn’t so horrible. I’m sorry, I’m having bad allergies, so that might have come out muffled. What I meant to say is, check out this rad dance party in Albany where you can hear the DJs spin all the hot dancey whatevers your heart can handle. Or something like that…
Blookie, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $7
Blookie is a tribute band dedicated to two specific albums—Dookie by Green Day and the Blue Album by Weezer—which is just bizarre. I mean, I also remember the 90s semi-fondly, but what’s the deal here? They just cover both those albums? They have a 24-song repertoire? Huh… That’s a pretty bold move. If I’m restricting myself to covers, I’m thinking maybe at least make it a sh*tload of covers, so the catalog doesn’t get stale. I’d call the band Licepeatervoltboograin. We’d be a tribute to the albums License to Ill, Repeater, High Voltage, Boogadaboogadaboogada, and Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. Obviously the name isn’t as clever, but the albums are way better and our set list is a little more varied from show to show…
Sound and Vision, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 8 p.m. $10 to $12
5 to 1 Theatre group is back with their new offering, a drama about a trans woman struggling with homelessness. It sounds dark and dramatic and full of all the stuff that makes live theater great, except musical numbers. I’m pretty certain nobody breaks into song and dance in this one while describing their childhood full of abuse and their hard day-to-day survival on the street. At least I don’t think… You know what? Just go in without expectations and you probably won’t be disappointed. Unless of course you’re like me and you’ll hate it if they break out in song and dance, regardless of expectations. Though again, I should caution, I don’t think there’s any singing in this one.
Hillstomp, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $10
Americana. That’s what Hillstomp plays and I’m on board big time. Because let’s face it, after the hundreds of years of Colonial travesties that created the genre of music most likely to be played anywhere in Corvallis at any given time, it’s about time for some celebration. But seriously, we all know folk bands are terrible, but these guys kick a not insubstantial amount of a*s with their rock-infused Appalachian goodness. Hillstomp is one of the better Americana bands out of Portland to come through here, so don’t balk at the $10 cover. That said, it’s not nothing, so if you’ve got any good ideas on how to sneak into this one, I’m open to it.
Three for Silver, Calapooia Brewing, 140 Hill St. NE, Albany 8 p.m. Free
Anti-Americana. That’s what Three for Silver plays, and yes f*cking please. I’ll be there. And not just because the show is free, though that certainly doesn’t hurt. I’m more intrigued about the potential for TFS’ anti-Americana vibes to smash headlong into Hillstomp’s pro-Americana vibes and for a meltdown of “vibology,” as Paula Abdul would have referred to it, to be unleashed. Also, these guys are trying to be cultural attaches in Russia (seriously, check their website) and the 80’s movie kid inside me wants to help them do it—so they can bring the Soviets down from within!
Mary Poppins, Corvallis High School Mainstage, 1400 NW Buchanan Ave. 2 p.m. $3 to $15
I’m going to admit something that may get me knifed in a back alley: I’ve never been that huge on Mary Poppins. It’s not like I hate it or anything, it just doesn’t do that much for me. Julie Andrews and Dick Van Deezy are obviously both amazing, but outside of that I only vaguely remember a bunch of nonsense. I know that wasn’t a strong opening, but I still highly endorse this show. For one thing, CHS puts on some insane productions. For another thing, I’m dying to see how they execute the flying and penguin dancing. There’s almost no way that won’t be amazing, even if there’s crash and burn potential.
Blues Jam, Calapooia Brewing, 140 Hill St. NE, Albany 4 p.m. Free
The last few weeks of performance-packed Sundays have left Blues Jam on the outside looking in. The good news is things have slowed down and Blues Jam is back on the radar. The bad news is things have slowed down, and Blues Jam is back on the radar. I personally love this little shindig and all the crustaceans who turn out to rock for, so you won’t hear any complaining from me.
Jordan World Circus, Benton County Fairgrounds, 110 SW 53rd St. 4:30 & 7:30 p.m. $10 to $50
Show up for the circus or for the protest. Either way I guarantee a forgettable evening. I’ve never really cared for circuses, but not on moral grounds; the way people randomly pick and choose when to be outraged for animals is at best uninspiring. No, my problem was always the boredom I felt. A bear riding a bike around is just not that entertaining. And it’s really disturbing. Plus, I’ve been to see both Ringling Bros. and the Moscow Circus, two elite outfits. The Jordan Circus, based on their sub-interactive website, doesn’t appear to be packing quite the spectacle. The protest may be the way to go here. It’s free and may feature some hairy creatures riding bikes of its own. See what I did there? Because hippies like to protest and ride bikes, you see…
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
Based on the number of people who go to see his shows every week, and the crazy reliability with which he shows up to play jazz piano, Bryson Skaar may be the most trafficked performer in Benton County (not counting the stripper I used to get meth from). Does anyone else play as often to such reliably robust crowds? And have you heard it? It’s really good. I would see Bryson play in a sewer, so you can only imagine how much nicer it is to just see him at a nice coffee house.
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
Speaking of hella reliable locals who you’d go to see even if they were putting on their show in a sewer, Movie Night is still stroking it. Now that CMNYK is toting bi-weekly live organ playing by Justin Schepige (of Manhattan on the Rocks and Despite the Whiteness) along to silent short films, your excuse for not coming is getting sh*ttier and sh*ttier. This week is actually a no-music week, with 1947’s The Perils of Pauline, a hilarious biopic of silent star Pearl White, starring the great Betty Hutton. But you should go anyway because it’s timed perfectly to end with enough time for you to walk two blocks over to Cloud’s for some music…
Cash’d Out and Sumbitch, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 9 p.m. $10
Synergy. That’s what it’s called when your favorite weekly gathering coincides just right with a rare opportunity. This week, CMNYK will end with exactly enough time for you to throw a buck in the donation box and then steam on over to Cloud’s to see this nationally touring band of Johnny Cash worshippers and their acolytes. I have no idea why it takes a band of four to six to do the job ostensibly done by just one man, but these guys are fantastic and sound just like the Man in Black. Not Tommy Lee Jones, the other one. Oh wait, no, not Will Smith either. The other other one. Oh and Sumbitch is opening, and they’re awesome, too. It’s kick-a*s country time, baby!
What Will Last? Thomas Kinkade, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 6 p.m. Free
This is embarrassing to admit, but I don’t know a damn thing about Kinkade. I know some people love his art, and most people derisively mock it like they do with other ubiquitously popular but possibly awful things, like Adele. But what I can tell you is that this is an event for serious fans of the late painter. Several of his relatives who are themselves artists will be on hand presenting their work. Piano star Reinis Zariņš will also be on hand playing piano. There’s going to be a lot of other stuff, too, so if you love Kinkade, don’t be a dummy and miss this. If you hate Kinkade, you’re in luck; this is not mandatory.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7 p.m. $5
This basically should be mandatory. Milos Forman’s filming of Ken Kesey’s wonderful novel is one of the great classics of the 70s. It’s not exactly one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that you have to see on the big screen, but it’s going to be pretty amazing. And for $5? That’s barely more than it cost to see it when it premiered 41 years ago. Also, revel in some vintage pre-eye-roll-inducing Jack Nicholson.
Toxic Kid and A Gearbox Heart, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
I feel like my constant harping on more punk and less Americana in the local music scene is starting to break through. Because we’ve been seeing a ton of good punk shows lately. This time it’s busy locals A Gearbox Heart playing with a pop-punk squad out of Portland that reminds me of all my favorite bands and every crush I ever had in high school, Toxic Kid. They sound like vintage Queers, like Move Back Home era, and if you remember how fun that was, you know what a compliment it is. Up the punx.
Marys River Grange Movie Night, Marys River Grange Hall, 24707 Grange Hall Rd., Philomath. 7 p.m. Free
This edition of #MRGMN is toting maybe its best movie yet, with the brilliant and deservedly beloved Roger Corman classic, The Little Shop of Horrors (1960). Marys River Grange Movie Night is really heating up lately. And not just because the Grange Hall is heated by a giant and luxuriously warming wood stove. No, I’m referring to how awesome the screenings are and how cool the people and location are. If you’re missing out on these, I don’t know what to say, but I’m going to spend serious time thinking up a hurtful name to call you. I’m sorry for being petty, but this is important…