8 Days a Week

oneThursday, December 8

Wild Hog in the Woods. Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free. Honestly, a wild hog in the woods is something I find very frightening. Hey, don’t laugh. Hannibal Lecter fed that guy to his pigs, and they weren’t even wild – just a little pissed off that Jodie Foster was recast. The fact is, this is a real workhorse of a band and I’ve suggested their shows many times, this time being no difference. If you’re craving great music in the human tradition of playing instruments and stuff, plus a beer or ten, well, you get the picture. For info, visit www.calapooiabrewing.com.

Funk Jam. Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 9:30 p.m. Free

This here is a funk jam, at which people jam out some serious funk. There’s probably a lot more that could be said, but if you study my words carefully you’ll sort of get the point – and the point is that you know exactly where you’re going to be at 9:30pm this Wednesday, enjoying a drink and some damn fine funky tunes. For info, visit www.cloudandkellys.com.

Friday, December 9

LMNO and Space Neighbors for Standing Rock. Odd Fellows Hall, 223 SW 2nd St. 7 – 11 p.m. Cost: $10 suggested donation at the door.

Two incredibly local bands aredonating their time and musical skills of legend for this all-ages benefit concert event to raise funds to support the Standing Rock Camp in North Dakota. While a huge victory was claimed in their support just the other day, there is a lot more work to be done. Doors creep open at 6:45 p.m. Nectar Creek, Flat Tail, Squirrel’s Tavern, Oregon Trail, and others are donating beer, mead, and wine for sale, while Earth Rising Foods will be selling delicious grubbins’. For info, visit www.facebook.com/events/706160036213791.

The Butler Did It. Albany Civic Theatre, 111 First Ave. W, Albany. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $13 general admission, $10 senior and junior admission.

Just two more weekends left on this one, humans. Here’s how it all goes down: one Anthony J. Lefcourt, writer / director extraordinaire, is bandying about his new play, a whodunnit. This one has to work out, because the last few seasons have bombed. The grand plan? Withold the final scene of the play from the cast. Great idea, eh? Maybe not so much. Or maybe it is after all. Get some tickets and find out for yourself. For info and tickets, visit www.albanycivic.org.

Saturday, December 10

Trauma Queen. Merlin’s Bar & Grill, 45 W Sherman St., Lebanon. 9 p.m. Free.

High-energy, 80s style hard rockers Trauma Queen will be tearing up the classiest bar in Lebanon, Merlin’s. Hell yes, like the wizard. Here’s what they have to say for themselves; “The band was formed in 2013 with one goal in mind: to fill the void in the modern music industry left from the fallout of the post-hair-metal era genres of grunge, alternative, and a host of sub-labeled hard core heavy metal styles.” I diggit. Their tunes are influenced by all of those wonderfully hair-sprayed heroes that floated the LA hard rock / metal scene. For info, visit www.facebook.com/TraumaQueenMetal.

Black Delany and The Stein Project. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $5.

Probably the best press release I’ve seen in a year: “Black Denaly is skate punk—post punk rock. Guess you should come see for yourself. The Stein Project is hard rock from Portland.” It’s like yes, that actually was pretty damn effective. I kinda want to go now – and I want you to go to. It’s a rock show at Bombs, and that’s a guaranteed good time for all. Also, they have beer and other good stuff. For info, visit www.bombsawaycafe.com.

Sunday, December 11

Jingle My Bells – Confluence LGBT Chorus Concert. Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 2945 NW Circle Blvd. 4:30 p.m. Cost: $15 general admission, $12 students and seniors in advance; $18 general admission, $15 students and seniors at the door.

Confluence is Oregon’s only mixed LGBT chorus, and have been melting faces under founder Ray Elliott since 2000 – and I’ve been told that they will continue doing just that when their 17th season kicks off. Accompanied by assistant director and principal pianist Stephanie Lynne Smith, who, if cut, bleeds talent. Jingle My Bells, their fantastically named holiday show, includes a lineup of both traditional and contemporary music. Lacking in the funds department? You won’t be turned away. For info and tickets, visit www.confluencechorus.org.

No Offense: The Improv Jam Christmas Spectacular. Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Cost: $5.

I was told this had the power to warm the cockles of my heart, but I don’t think I have any of those. Either way, Ho ho, ho and stuff! The Improv at the Majestic elves (their words, not mine) are here to rock your world. No Offense: The Improv Jam Christmas Spectacular is a two-part evening of overflowing fun and spontaneous comedy. Part 1 is the Community Jam, while Part 2 is a long-form improv thingy that proves to be spectackerific (new word, all mine). For info, visit www.majestic.org.

Monday, December 12

Majestic Theatre Monthly Forum. Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 5:30 – 7 p.m. Free.

Straight from the horse’s mouth: “In order to keep in constant contact with our user base, patrons, and members of the community with creative ideas, the Majestic Theatre maintains a monthly public forum. Theatre Supervisor Jimbo Ivy will lead the forum and mediate comments, questions and proposals from the community. Current agenda for December Public Forum: 1) Fiscal update; 2) Discussion regarding Mainstage proposal process and how it can be improved or changed for future seasons. If you would like a topic to appear on the agenda for the forum, or to make a presentation or proposal, please contact Jimbo at jimbo@majestic.org.” For further info, visit www.majestic.org.

Tuesday, December 13

Community Movie Night. Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free.

Do you like movies? Are you a member of the community? Well hot damn, clear your Tuesday evenings! Seriously, we’re talking all of them. Every week classic, lost, and cult films are broadcast through the Darkside and onto a white screen for your enjoyment. Every film is preceded by time-relevant newsreels and cartoons, as well as a light buttering of facts by the host, Ygal Kaufman. Donations are graciously accepted and benefit the renovation of the Darkside Cinema, Corvallis’ only independent movie house. For info, visit www.cmnyk.wordpress.com or www.facebook.com/freemovienightcorvallis.

Wednesday, December 14

Imagine on Canvas’ Paint Night. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free.

Okay, so let me get this straight: incredibly coffee and foodstuffs, and a bunch of paint…. And your imagination… and canvas… and paintbrushes, perhaps. The only way this could be more fun is if it were at a bar (no offense taken, I’m sure). Imagine has been a huge supporter of local arts, and now you can art like a freak right in their space. Make it happen, for you and yours. Maybe take something terrible, I mean excellent home with you as a gift for a loved one (who can’t judge your work, because they love you). For info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net.

Thursday, December 15

Kids’ Movie Night. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free.

Kids, well, we all love ‘em. Most of us. Some of us even have then. And sometimes, they just need to kind of… sit down and shut up for a while, so you can enjoy a coffee or biscuit or something of that sort. It’s not wrong, it’s just what has to be done. Well, Imagine Coffee has your back with this clever kids movie night. Pacify those little bast-er, lovelies, while enjoying some of the best brew in town. Not a bad way to burn a Thursday. For info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net.

Curtis Monette. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free.

As the press release says, “For over 10 years, Curtis Monette has made Bombs Away Cafe his home for a monthly display of his vocal looping and guitar/bass/mandolin/etc. Prowess.” And it’s all true folks, all true. Monette is a must see performer around these parts. Catching one of his shows is a right of passage. For info, visit www.bombsawaycafe.com.

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