Surprise Shocker: Drunk Students Have More Sex

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College-DrinkingOregon State University’s researchers have had a calendar year of fantastic breakthroughs. They’ve discovered seaweed that tastes like bacon, furthered the potential of a future robot uprising with their bipedal robot ATRIAS, and they have all around progressed the collective intellect of our humble little town.

So when their latest bit of research news came our way, we couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed. We’ll just let the press release speak for itself.

“Sex is more likely on days college students use marijuana or binge drink. Undergraduate college students were more likely to have sex on days they used marijuana or binged on alcohol than on days they didn’t, new research from Oregon State University has found.”

Our youths are having sex when drunk and high?! What has the world come to?!

Putting all the “duh” notions aside, the study should be questioned, as they simply asked students to log their drinking, smoking, and sexual activity over a determined time period. College students asked to log their sexual activity? I can just hear the logs in my head now.

“Smoked like five joints, drank like all the alcohols, and sexed like 10 girls. At once. All in a few hours. Man. So rad.”

 You can have even more fun reading the study for yourself at

By Nathan Hermanson

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