Plurality of Post-Grads Defies Intelligence

linnbentonbackwashCorvallis Advocate Associate Editor Johnny Beaver blows Yoo-hoo out of his nose laughing after he views the Gazette-Times “Which Mid-Valley political figure should run for governor in 2016?” poll and sees Art Robinson with a commanding lead.

Corvallis’ police blotter finally strikes oil: A 44-year-old woman has been accused of breaking into an apartment, stealing clothes, and eating a box of cereal and some lunch meat. Oh, and she made a pot of coffee. An FBI profiler who was brought in thinks she might have taken a dump as well, but the evidence could have been flushed.

Benton County drew a circle on some gravel at the fairgrounds, the idea being drivers could familiarize navigating said geometry for the planned roundabout at 53rd Street and West Hills Road. According toPortlandia, we Oregonians are confused by this shape.

A Very Special Backwash Weather Report: Last weekend was sunny.

Last week in Lebanon: A woman was scammed out of $890 after mailing cash to the “government,” later realizing she didn’t get the $7,000 back she was promised… a belligerent, drunk 59-year-old was escorted by police out of GameTime after repeatedly falling over… 10 juveniles were counseled after being caught swinging a bicycle tire around in a parking lot, hitting cars… a man was seen masturbating in his car at the local Mega Foods, but when stopped by police he insisted he was scratching an itch… an officer gave a warning to a driver not to “sing while on a cellphone while driving,” and last, but not least… a bunch of turkeys blocked an intersection.

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