Linn-Benton Backwash: Waste, Bugs, and Homeless Kids

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linnbentonbackwash1Fact: Dogs crap out of their butts. Other fact: The OSU College of Forestry and some local veterinarians have been going around spray painting dog turds orange along the McDonald Forest trails. Apparently the sheer number of turds has been causing ecological issues. A representative from OSU Research Forests has suggested that he’s sure 99 percent of those walking their dogs stop to pick up the turdage, but given the problems they’re having, I’m going to call that a lie. Either that or we’re looking for a couple of very large, Clifford the Big Red Dog-sized dogs taking massive dumps. Fact: I like my job today.

Whoops. Some Albany contractors accidentally dumped 3,000 gallons of raw, steaming sewage into the Willamette. Warning signs are up, but the good news is that this pales in comparison to the millions of pounds of toxins dumped into the river from industrial sources every year, so we’re all good.

According to the Corvallis School District, there are at least 220 homeless students in the area. Several locals have suggested that when they get their way and the new shelter is built out in the middle of nowhere, we might be able to send a school bus out to get them.

Deputies were called to go find a 19-year-old Corvallis man who had gotten lost picking mushrooms… near a place called Tum Tum Road. Right… lost.

There’s a fancy new OSU classroom that’s having some problems with technological “bugs.” Oh yeah? What about the Bug Room in Fairbanks Hall? I’ve got literal bugs flying in my damn face while I’m trying to listen to a lecture. Let’s get some DDT up in that b*tch, stat!

There was a police chase from Sweet Home to Lebanon the other day, but nothing flipped over or exploded or crashed through a hot dog cart, so meh.

The Lebanon Log will return next week. I decided to give them a break because the Warriors got their a*ses handed to them by South Albany.

 (There was a guy busted at Waterloo Park for whacking off near the bathroom, though…)

By Johnny Beaver

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