Linn-Benton Backwash

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linnbentonbackwash1People in Corvallis are pissed off about Washington Park again for a number of reasons, including LBCC putting its foot in its mouth (so far it came out their a*s…). You think it’d be more of a fluid process to expand a center for learning that, amongst other things, would save locals a crazy amount of time and money (i.e. not having to travel to LBCC Albany as much, or at all), but… Corvallis. That’s how we do.

Remember Nika Laresen, the Oregon State Police forensics human who was put on administrative leave back in September? Oh you know the one, she was accused of stealing pills and replacing them with over-the-counter substitutes. Yeah. Well, Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson is now investigating four cases she was involved with that resulted in convictions. Uh oh! Procedural crime shows always make a really big deal out of this sort of thing when it goes down… can you imagine what a pain in the a*s this is going to be in real life?

The Corvallis School District is futzing around with something called a Lock Blok. Long story short, it’s supposed to help out in a crisis by removing the need for a key, citing the tendency of people to lose their fine motor skills when panicking or stressed. As an avid player of Mega Man 3 on the Nintendo Entertainment System, I am willing to testify to this fact in court. 

Local media has followed suit with the mainstream media in covering the Paris attacks to no end while ignoring the nearly simultaneous attacks in Lebanon. Not even the %$#@! Lebanon Express?

Richard Duncan, the Lebanon owner of Munchys Delivery with the golden smile, is expanding operations into Corvallis. People living out in the area of Circle that are outside the delivery zones of many fine Monroe establishments might want to start getting excited about laziness, however so far there’s no guarantee that the service will include those establishments.

 The Lebanon Log: This special edition of the log is dedicated to the man in the cowboy hat that, on Nov. 8, walked out of the American Legion and started pissing everywhere next to Premier Floor Covering.

By Johnny Beaver

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