If you don’t know Uwe Boll, you just don’t know movies. Not like you should. Boll is the German director/pugilist/doctorate holder (Wait, what? Really? Yes!) who is most famous for making extremely cheap movie adaptations of video game properties that are terrible and don’t make any money and are basically just tax shelters for wealthy German investors. His films House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Dungeon Seige, Bloodrayne, Postal, and Far Cry, all based on popular video games, are basically master classes in how to make people’s eyes and brains bleed.
Now Boll is back and the famously uncensored director is not the least bit pleased. His Kickstarter campaign to fund a second sequel to his very mildly popular Rampage, a film about a psychotic lunatic who kills a lot of people, failed miserably. So understandably, over the weekend, Boll took to YouTube to vent his frustrations in a series of rambling videos where he takes aim at Hollywood, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and all the other people who are “b*@t f&*#ing each other” (his words, not mine…) for money instead of helping him get his important work in front of the impressionable minds who presumably need his art.
This isn’t the first time Boll has gone after his critics. In 2006 he actually set up boxing matches with some of his skinnier critics and pummeled their faces.
But this is certainly the funniest time he’s lashed out. Go to YouTube and type in “June Kickstarter.” Then kick back, open up a cold beer, and enjoy the insanity.
Golan the Insatiable is a half-hour animated comedy that got its second season premiere a few weeks ago. It runs in Fox’s “Animation Domination” Sunday night lineup that previously only housed one good show, the brilliant and hilarious Bob’s Burgers. Well, good news, now it has one-and-a-half good shows.
Golan premiered in 2014 as a 15-minute show sharing a time slot with Lucas Bros. Moving, but has been upgraded to its own half-hour time slot, picking up some bigger name voice talent and a soft reset on the storyline along the way. So for all intents and purposes, this is the first season.
The show is about a zany misfit goth kid who is misunderstood by her Fargo-esque Minnesota-nice family and town. One day her dark prayers are answered when Golan the Insatiable, a warlord from another dimension, gets warped into her life. Hijinks ensue.
If it sounds stupid and thin and derivative of a thousand other properties, that’s because it is. But Golan has some tricks up its sleeve and some elements that make it pretty watchable. Rob Riggle, the hilarious comedy utility-man, is genetically perfect as the voice of Golan, who relishes murder, mayhem, fornication, and basic cable. Aubrey Plaza, real-life professional melancholy person, is also basically a human version of her character as the voice of the little goth girl, Dillon. Maria Bamford rounds out a stellar voice cast as Dillon’s mother, and Minnesota MGWLF.
A MGWLF is a “mom Golan would like to…” You know what? Let’s just move on.
Meanwhile in slightly deeper entertainment wells, last week signaled the start of one of summer’s most hotly anticipated returns, the third season of Hannibal on NBC.
The results were… confusing. A rambling episode that bounced around in multiple times to paint us a picture of where Hannibal has landed since the bloodbath (spoiler alert!) that ended season two, the episode took a while to find its footing then landed beautifully, ending what can only be termed a preface to the coming season of Will Graham’s pursuit of Hannibal.
I was highly unsure of what masterful showrunner Bryan Fuller had in store to get us back in the mix after the insanely intense climax of season two. In his usual inimitable form, Fuller did the one thing I’m sure very few people expected, and came back with a season premiere that didn’t even feature an appearance by Hugh Dancy, Laurence Fishburne, or Caroline Dhavernas, the three other lead characters on the show.
The episode turned out spooky, funny, terrifying, and brought back Eddie Izzard for a memorable series of flashbacks that will make dinner hard to keep down. Welcome back to everyone’s favorite serial killer (sorry Dexter), it’s going to be a long, hot summer.
Golan the Insatiable airs on Sunday nights at 8:30 p.m. on FOX. Hannibal airs on Thursday nights at 10 p.m. on NBC.
By Ygal Kaufman