Last week I gave you the beauties to look forward to in the front part of September’s TV premiere lineup. Now here are the beasts lurking in the back half.
Minority Report (New) – Fox – This lazy looking attempt to continue the fabulous Spielberg film onto the small screen looks… lazy. Not interested, but Fox does sort of have a decent track record with this sort of thing, so it might work for some of you. Stars Stark Sands and Meagan Good.
Castle (Season 8) – ABC – Ugh, I hate this show, and if you like it, I sort of hate you. That said, it does star two incredibly likable and chemistry-laden stars solving mysteries, which if I understand it correctly, becomes difficult to resist watching once you’re over 50. Stars Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic.
Blindspot (New) – NBC – The Letters N.B.C. should have been a clear hint that this will be terrible. And yet the lightly sci-fi tinged action thriller has been building steady buzz.It concerns a beautiful and mysterious Jane Doe who wakes up in Times Square with no memories and covered in enigmatic tattoos. I wonder if the tats will moronically lead to an episodic-in-nature action show that puts me to sleep… Your faithful prediction from the Entertainmentalist: cancelled after one season. Stars Jaimie Alexander and Sullivan Stapleton.
Scream Queens (New) – Fox – Ryan Murphy is a tough nut to crack. Nip/Tuck was amazing, but Glee made me want to self harm. American Horror Story is excellent though, so I’m genuinely torn on his new project which is a TV-ification of the classic slasher genre. Could be great, could be Horror Glee. Stars Emma Roberts and Jamie Lee Curtis.
The Muppets (New) – ABC – So you’ve resurrected the Muppets to put them in a puppet version of The Office? Yikes. This has more upside and downside than maybe any other show on the list. I love these fuzzy buggers, but I have my doubts this won’t be super annoying. Stars Kermit the Frog and friends.
Heroes Reborn (New) – NBC – So Netflix was able to resurrect prematurely cancelled shows, why can’t NBC try it? Oh yeah, I remember, because their shows weren’t prematurely cancelled. If anything they were long delayed in meeting their end. I couldn’t be less interested in this show if it placed the heroes on the island from Lost this time around. Stars Zachary Levi and Gatlin Green.
The Blacklist (Season 3) – NBC – How can I be clear about this? Okay: The Blacklist is the worst show on TV. Unequivocally. It’s unforgivably stupid, boring in the extreme and has an episodic formula that wouldn’t even hold up to scrutiny for one episode, let alone a third full season. Why, NBC? Why? Stars James Spader and Megan Boone.
The Player (New) – NBC – Everything that’s wrong and horrible about The Blacklist has been doubled and tripled for this incredibly stupid looking action show about a shadowy cabal that “bets on crime” and positions their own player in the midst of situations to effect an outcome so they can bet on it. If that sounds intriguing to you, we should never hang out. Stars Wesley Snipes.
Bob’s Burgers (Season 6) – Fox – Thank god for H. Jon Benjamin, the brilliant voice of Bob. This show is everything that’s right with animation and comedy writing. If you haven’t been following the lovable and unpretentious adventures of this family of burger flippers, you’re missing out on a gem. Stars H. Jon Benjamin, Dan Mintz, Kristen Schaal and Eugene Mirman.
The Last Man on Earth (Season 2) – Fox – The execs wisely did not make us wait too long for the second tilt of this likable comedy about the post-apocalypse and how it will affect all our sex lives. A wonderful metaphor for marriage that ended with a huge and enticing cliff hanger for season 2. Stars Will Forte and Kristen Schaal.
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (New) – Comedy Central – I can’t remember the last time The Daily Show didn’t have Jon Stewart. This will be a much more interesting transition to keep an eye on than Colbert replacing Letterman. Trevor Noah is much less household name than Jon Stewart. It could work, of course, but there’s almost no way the ratings don’t take a monster dive. Stars Trevor Noah.
By Ygal Kaufman