As the State Turns: Stuff, Stuff and Other Stuff

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stateturnssymbolAww, Winter… It’s Finally Coming
No, that wasn’t a Game of Thrones reference. I’m talking about the damn weather. It’s been chilly, it’s been raining, my socks got wet! I saw a rat in my parking lot that had clearly been flattened by a car, its guts shot out one side. I don’t know what that has to do with the weather, but I found it very disturbing and had a nightmare last night about its wafer-thin paws wiggling about.

Anyway, I know some of you are like blegh, I love summer, heat, Vance Joy’s mundane music, and Satan. That’s fine, you’re weird. But do you know who hates winter weather more than you? That’s right: the homeless. It sort of sucks to be outside freezing your a*s off, possibly to death, eh? One thing that makes it easier to think about is to assume the homeless population are all street-pooping, criminal junkies (because addiction is not an illness…), but who are they, really?

Let’s take a look at Human Solutions, a nonprofit in Portland that just opened an emergency winter shelter to help out homeless families in East Multnomah County/East Portland. About a third of the people there are from families that were just evicted without cause.

“But my God in heaven, that can’t be legal, Johnny Beaver!”

Oh, but it is. Not only is cause not required, landlords only have to give 30 to 60 days to move out for these no-fault evictions. Now, the Portland City Council recently voted in a measure that requires 90 days or more notice for those being evicted through no fault of their own, or those who have experienced a rent increase of over 5% in a single year… but that law isn’t going to go into effect until Nov. 13. And even then, 90 days? Sh*********t… it takes me that long to save up enough money to go to the grocery store.

Last year there was an average of 96 people taking shelter there each night, reaching as high as 134. Human Solutions reported that over 280 families and 511 children took refuge. They were loaned $300,000 from the county to purchase that particular site, and they’re looking to take over an abandoned strip club on Stark Street so they can open a larger, year-round family shelter.

That’s what doing good looks like. Not moaning about how you have to walk within 15 feet of someone with no home but the curb while out shopping for some overpriced Star Wars Legos that could realistically buy a week’s worth of food for a small family.

Happy holidays!

Major News Brief!
The city of Beaverton has proposed a freakin’ boundary change in order to make way for their new high school! My God, the sky is falling!

Cylvia Hayes Tries to Take Dump on Media, Sharts
Let me paraphrase Ms. Hayes so we can skip the journalistic posturing:

“Hey folks! So my green energy consulting business is the best, and we’re totally doing consulting and business. The Oregonian has no right to ask for my emails, even if they are public records, which I totally swear to God they’re not because they’re from my Google. They’re just doing this to spew false allegations and print misinformation and also Tiger Electronic games are way better than Game Boy because they’re cheaper and have Mary Kate and Ashley Olson. I’ve been quiet for a long time, which has done me a lot of favors, but now I feel like I need to open my big fat mouth and cram as many of my feet in it as possible… which is two. Just ask John.”

Eugene Innovations: Arcimoto
People talk a good game about how progressive Oregon is, but Arcimoto of Eugene is actually doing it. No joke… these guys (and gals I’m sure, though I didn’t spy one) are producing purely electric, three-wheeled urban vehicles at a price point of about $11,900. I wouldn’t want to drive one of the things down the freeway or anything, but watching their demonstration videos on YouTube… you can’t help but watch one and think to yourself, “Holy @!$%, it’s the future.”

The future took about eight years to design and build, but now there are 150 orders and production is set to start next year. Needing to expand beyond the current 5,000 square foot workshop they currently occupy, President Mark Frohnmayer says he’s looking for something now in the 50,000 square foot range—and he feels very strongly about keeping it in Eugene.

 Look, folks, I’m a dick. I’m not easily impressed. This impressed me, as it’s the first fully electric vehicle of its kind that looks and feels like it makes sense. It’s exciting that it’s here in the state.

By Johnny Beaver

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