The Yawpers, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 8 p.m. $8 ($5 for members, seniors, students)
The Majestic continues its current hot streak which I’m pretty sure, no bias, started with An Adult Evening of Shel Silverstein. A show which critics and my parents agree wholeheartedly, I was f*cking terrific in. This time it’s live music, not a play, from the Yawpers, in from Denver to bust heads and break hearts with their energetic, often shirtless, power-Americana. Now normally you all well know how much I’d be making a dismissive masturbation gesture while talking about Americana, but this show will actually, and righteously, kick f*cking a*s. Yeah, that’s two F-bombs in one blurb. The Yawpers got me all excited…
8Balls, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
This is a classic rock cover band. Which means the members are three to five Caucasian males in their mid-50s. Now none of that changes the fact that this promises to be a hell of a fun show. But it does raise one interesting question. Why are middle-aged white dudes so bad at naming bands? 8Balls? Seriously, guys? Shoot me an email and I’ll hit you with no less than 30 band names that put this one to shame in a matter of minutes. Please specify in the email if you’re open to puns…
Coronation, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free
In my weekly bellyaching about the lack of musical diversity, I may have neglected to mention that I’d sell my right nut for a new wave band. Oh hi there, Coronation. These guys are a little bit Devo, a little bit They Might Be Giants, and a lot bit the most interesting show in town by a wide margin on this Saturday night. If you arrive at this show wearing a blazer and/or sport jacket with the sleeves rolled up, you get extra points. These points are completely worthless and not redeemable for anything. But I’ll think you’re cool. Also, is that not just a legitimate look? What’s the deal?
The Baron Ward, Summer Soundtrack, and pseudoboss, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
The Baron Ward is like an unfunny Tenacious D that sings earnest and soft-spoken love songs. They’re pretty terrific, but they also make me feel awkward and I would never want to listen to them while standing in a room filled with other people. Summer Soundtrack and pseudoboss you should already know pretty well as they play around here pretty regularly. They’re also the complete opposite of The Baron Ward, so there could be fireworks. Or maybe just a fistfight.
The Mercury Tree and Wups, Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave. 7 p.m. Free
Wups is back in action again, and their cosmically big sound feels even bigger in this comically small venue. Grab a latte and just chillax with these two raucous and fun-loving groups. The Mercury Tree and Wups play rock and roll, which I’m sure you’ve read about before. Well believe you me, everything you’ve heard is true. The second the rocking starts, the sexual and social mores get much more interesting and everybody in this buttoned-up town instantly learn to dance. It’s just like Footloose only I hate it less.
Whiteside Birthday Bash with Bury The Moon, Hermano, and The Carys, Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7 p.m. $7 in advance, $10 at the door
I’m not sure who is actually having a birthday here. Is it the Whiteside? I don’t know, but what do you get for that 150-year-old in your life who seems to have everything? Is it the fresh-faced tykes in Bury the Moon or The Carys? Your guess is as good as mine, but I don’t really know how to shop for 17-year-olds. Hermano could be the birthday boys in question, but they’re from Klamath Falls, so what are you gonna get them? Meth? Instead, get all three of these sweet and soft-strumming Americana/alternative bands a birthday present and see their reasonably priced rock show.
The Crucible, CHS Main Stage, 1400 NW Buchanan Ave. 2 p.m. $12
Go to this show, commie, or I’ll make sure everyone in town knows where your sympathies lie. What? No good? Okay, let me try again. “Alright pinko, get your hands out of your pockets and grab some sky. If you don’t go to this fabulous-looking production of one of the greatest plays ever by one of the greatest playwrights who ever lived, I’m gonna put your name on a list and make sure you never work again!” What? I don’t get it! What’s wrong with my approach here?
Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free
What perfect timing you have, Blues Jam. After you’re done enjoying the witch hunt at CHS, you can go on over to the ‘Pooia and enjoy some blues music played by a bunch of dudes likely old enough to remember watching the McCarthy tribunals on TV. Shoot, some of these guys are old enough to remember saying, “That young whippersnapper McCarthy isn’t hard enough on these long-hairs!” You know what I’m saying? These guys love to play the blues, but they’re heck of old and hate communists. Oh, so I guess you do know…
Ex-Breathers and Philophobia, Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave. 7 p.m. Free
Dizamn Interzone, look at the big rock-balls on you. Ex-Breathers is good old fashioned hard core-style punk rock from Florida, a place known for creating hard rocking mother Fs and people fond of bath salts. Since I check off both of those boxes on my OK Cupid profile, I’m definitely going to be at this show. ExBreathers are awesome and we should support their cross country tour by buying merch. Otherwise punk dies. Punk rock is a thing you may have read about, Corvallis, but until you actually experience it, it will just be a thing you tell your kids about but don’t really know anything about. Like sex.
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
Now some of you may not be as hot under the collar as I am for some good old fashioned PFR. But don’t you fret, because I would never forget about you (except on your birthday). Bryson Skaar has his weekly dose of the exact opposite of filthy hardcore from Florida: jazz piano at the ‘Gine. Free jazz is so hard for me to turn down, it might as well be free fudge, or free money. Plus it doesn’t hurt that Bryson’s terrific and everyone loves him. If the Free Mumia activists had this kind of response from their target audience, he’d be enjoying a cappuccino and listening to Bryson play by this coming Monday.
Frank Almond, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. $20 to $28 (free with OSU student ID)
It’s not Americana and it’s not movie night, but Frank Almond does okay for himself playing the violin. I mean, he’s only the Concertmaster of the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, so if I’m most of you, I’m thinking of skipping this once in a blue moon chance to see one of the best violinists in the world playing on his insanely rare and valuable Stradivarius and cruising over to Dairy Queen, where your cousin Dale’s girlfriend is playing some singer-songwriter acoustic stuff. I mean, it’s a no-brainer, right?
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
After several weeks of comedy, action, adventure, mystery, and horror, CMNYK is slowing things down a bit with this moving and wonderfully acted drama, based on a story by the great W. Somerset Maugham. It’s Rain (1932), starring the legendary Joan Crawford as a prostitute on the island of Pago Pago who gets mixed up with a fierce and passionate missionary. Sparks will fly. And then because this movie is so old, likely the celluloid will catch and the whole theater will go up in a blaze… is something I might say if this whole thing weren’t digital. Yay 21st century, am I right?
Belfry, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
I got super-stoked when, for a brief moment, I thought German metal shredmeisters Belfry were coming stateside to play at Bombs. Then I thought about it for a few minutes and I got the nagging suspicion that perhaps a slightly deeper googling was in order to make sure there wasn’t a band of recent OSU grads playing sort of softly alternative pop that might even be described as… Americana. Because obviously that would be sort of a huge letdown. And I’d have trouble thinking of what to write and hopefully segue elegantly into something else. Anyway, has anyone here seen the Star Wars trailers?
Noontime Organ Recital Featuring Craig Hanson, First United Methodist Church, 1165 NW Monroe Ave. 12:15 p.m. Free
Get a job, hippie. Seriously, this show sounds fantastic, and Crag Hanson is no doubt a total stud on the organ. In fairness, though, one has to wonder who can make it to this event other than the retired and unemployed. It’s in the middle of the day on a Wednesday. But if you are so dedicated to organ music and/or are retired and/or are “just between jobs” right now, this would be a great place to hide out for a while and hear some great music while you contemplate your next move.
Eugene Ballet Performing The Nutcracker, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. $30 to $33
The Eugene Ballet will be performing the timeless classic that everyone loves… until Christmastime, at which point we all walk silently and only occasionally raise our heads to share a glance with some other brave soul who wants to murder these half-wood nut-gobbling demons. I mean… um… this will be a lovely night of ballet and I definitely do not need to see a psychiatrist about my Christmastime issues, thank you. On the real though, this is a really classy outfit putting on a serious show at a great venue. You have only a few excuses to miss this one.
Curtis Monette, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free
Curtis Monette is back in action for his monthly gig at Bombs. Sometimes I want to show up at this gig and just stand in one place that is very visible from stage and not move at all—total stillness. I’m talking cast-as-a-corpse-extra-in-a-movie still. And then come back and do it again at the next month’s installment. And then again. And then when Curtis comes up to ask me what the hell is wrong with me and what I’m doing there, I’ll just be like, “What are you talking about, weirdo?” Musicians like it when their fans are inscrutable, bordering on creepy. And they love it when I’m just plain creepy and totally scrutable.