Comedy Night with Jeff Oliver, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $3
Corvallis’ second favorite person to have ever appeared on a national cable news show (clearly Art Robinson on Rachel Maddow will forever be number one), Jeff Oliver is taking the world by storm drizzle. He’s hilarious and brings top-flight stand-up talent to Bombs for which he deserves our eternal thanks. He also managed to do a televised interview on FOX News without stripping naked and running around the room calling them all insults in Swedish, which is how most people react to FOX News. Or maybe that’s just my uncle Alfhild. Fun fact: Alfhild means “battle elf” in Swedish, so I guess the night of comedy has already begun. Your move, Oliver.
Wild Hog in the Woods, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free
Wild Hog is back. And if they don’t hear some toes a-tappin’, things are going to get mighty uncomfortable in here. While it would be wrong of me to suggest that Wild Hog gets violent and will jump in the crowd to fight at the drop of a hat, I don’t really have a moral compass, so wrong things don’t bother me. So yeah, Wild Hog will totally fight you if you don’t enjoy their music. Fortunately they’re great and you will enjoy it. I repeat, you will enjoy it.
Wups and Pancho + The Factory, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
One of Corvallis’ best non-bluegrass acts, Wups is playing more frequently than usual right now. This could mean one of many things, like possibly they’re having trouble making rent this month and are trying to play out extra. Then again, the no cover charge means that’s probably not it. It could be an impending natural disaster. Wups tends to come running toward the urban centers from the forest whenever they sense a tornado or earthquake coming. Uh oh…
Emerald City Jazz Kings, La Sells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. $12.50 to $25
ECJK (as us hardcore fans refer to them) are back for another spin at LaSells. I like to go for the high production values and terrific jazz music. Others may attend for the wonderful venue and service of the dedicated staff at LaSells. Still others may choose to attend this show because they are weirdos. You know who I’m talking about? Those socially odd types who don’t know how to sit on the couch and relax with an episode of something good and their own company, and need to pathologically go to things? I hate those types. You know what, it occurs to me I may not be the best person to write about going out… Next week on 8 Days: chillaxing in bed on a Saturday night watching reruns of Burn Notice.
Corvallis Squares Square Dance, 4515 SW West Hills Rd. 7 p.m. $5
F*ck yeah, square dancing. Out of the many organized dancing forms out there, square is pretty much tops. Square dances are just fun, 10 times out of 10. I like participating in them, I like watching them, I like just being there. You know, the way baseball is supposed to be. Is it possible we are all missing a much more interesting World Series of Square Dance during the fall while literally hundreds of us are glued to our television sets watching the baseball postseason? These and other pressing matters will be dealt with on the next episode of Dance Slobs, a new public access show about dancing that I’m hosting with a randomly selected frat boy on a Saturday morning. Every Saturday morning…
Rollipolli, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
If you assumed Rollipolli was an incredibly obnoxiously named bluegrass band that plays completely inoffensive Americana, congratulations—so did I. Turns out it’s a DJ, which means it’s my favorite time of the live music week: EDM time. Come and dance, and maybe meet a molly enthusiast or two, with one of Corvallis’ rare electronica events. And no, I’m not counting robot fighting as “electronica.” Otherwise the Engineering Department at OSU would basically be like a constant rave. Now where did I leave my glow sticks?
Majestic Reader’s Theatre Under Milk Wood, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 3 and 7 p.m. $10 ($8 for members, seniors, students)
If I know anything about Dylan Thomas, it’s that Michelle Pfeiffer really liked him a lot in that one movie where she teaches underprivileged kids how to learn. I think it was called The Fabulous Baker Boys. Anyway, Reader’s Theatre is out of sight, man. I would go to this regardless of the fact that every time I read the name Dylan Thomas it automatically makes me think of that one Coolio song where he gets really serious and sings about death and the afterlife and religion and stuff. I think it was called Fantastic Voyage. I know. I’m good.
In My Life: A Musical Tribute to the Beatles, CHS Main Stage, 1400 NW Buchanan Ave. 7 p.m. Tickets start at $35
Woof. A high school musical tribute to the Beatles… I can’t pretend that doesn’t sound awful. And it’s not exactly cheap either. But I’m trying to be more open minded to things that sound terrible but are probably pretty terrific. Like eating dinner at a Dairy Queen. This show boasts of being more than just a performance of recognizable Beatles tunes, but also of telling their story, from the wonderful point of view of manager Brian Epstein. Jeez, this sounds like having sushi at Dairy Queen. I’m in! But seriously, CHS Mainstage is putting on some good shows, so I bet they know something amazing about this that I don’t.
Michael Helquist, Grass Roots Books, 227 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free
Sorry, I wish I had some pithy sarcastic comedy to sprinkle on this one, but it just sounds genuinely fascinating, so instead I’m just going to urge you all to join me in attending this one. Michael Helquist will be swinging by the GRB to talk about his new book, Marie Equi: Radical Politics and Outlaw Passions, about LGBT pioneer and activist Marie Equi. She was an open lesbian protesting the war and blazing a trail for women everywhere, 100 years ago. She was so far ahead of her time, she was making “I’ma let you finish…” Kanye jokes 50 years before he was even born. Whoops, nevermind, there’s the pith. Seriously, you get to actually meet the author and hopefully pick his brain about this unique and underappreciated historical figure.
Traditional West African Dance Classes, Oddfellows Hall, 223 SW 2nd St. 7:15 p.m. $10 to $12
I’m tired of all this newfangled modern West African dancing that’s been going around the clubs. But I’ve got an old soul. That’s why I prefer my West African dancing to be traditional. Plus, even if you don’t want to do any dancing, you can score a pretty personal show from Fefafe. There’s going to be some drums right up in your grille, which is very personal to me. I proposed to my wife that way. Just a pair of bongos right up under her nose and then boom—big question. Where was I? Oh yeah, Traditional West African dance; Mondays done right.
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
It’s hecka close to Halloween, so you might be expecting some Halloween action at CMNYK. And you’d be right, too, but we’re doing it on Thursday night for a special edition. So this All Hallow’s Eve week edition of CMNYK will feature a warm-hearted, rib-tickling comedy with some costumery and visual effects. It’s Jack & The Beanstalk (1952) starring one of the greatest comedy duos to ever walk the screen, Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. This is a great CMNYK to bring the kiddies to, but bear in mind I also said that about A Boy and His Dog, and we’re still sifting through the lawsuits, so…
Celtic Jam, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
I feel like Celtic Jam is creeping on a come-up as one of Corvallis’ best nights of music. It’s fun, unbuttoned coffee-house jamboreeing that you can jump on stage and join in with. But perhaps my rosy view is affected by the fact that I’m on the payroll of the International Scottish Irish Welsh Music Marketing Consortium. Look, I feel it would be journalistically dishonest for me to not disclose my association with the ISIWMMC. We used to have a shorter name, the International Irish-Scotch Syndicate, but for some reason the acronym ISIS just was not testing well with focus groups…
Chris Arellano (CD Release), Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 8 p.m. Free
If you’re a backer of locally beloved teacher and father Chris Arellano and his Kickstarter campaign to record a full-length album, then this show is not just a great opportunity to have some fun and hear an incredibly talented musician, it’s also return-on-investment time for you. And you must be eager to see how your money has grown. For the rest of us it’s just a free show with some local musicians playing really earnest and pretty blues/country/Americana. We just can’t catch a break, huh…
Elmwood, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free
“What is it that moves your soul? For Elwood it has always been the ever awe-inspiring serenity and shear power of Mother Nature and you can feel it in his music. The trickle of a small stream, the roar of a thundercloud, the pure silence of meadow lit by the coming of the sun… it’s these things that sit at the very core of Elwood’s music.” That’s from Elmwood’s marketing material. So I think if you know me, you already know I’ll be skipping this show. But there’s the outline in black and white. I think you know if this show sounds great to you or not. Coincidentally, you can probably apply the same blueprint to meeting me and prognosticating whether or not our meeting mightn’t end in fisticuffs.
Vandfald and JT Nickel, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Vandfald is a band. I think. I don’t know, I don’t really care. Here’s the real scoop; JT Nickel is a f*cking yoyoer or yoyoist. Or whatever they’re called. Jesus, I don’t even know what to call professional yoyo performers, but this guy is one of those. He’s sponsored by Eugene’s One Drop Yo-Yos, purveyors of pro-level Oregon-made yo-yos. Are you goddamn kidding me, kids-these-days? This yo-yo website looks like a skateboard company site. Is this really a thing? They sell enough high-priced, hand-built yo-yos to justify a whole industry with sponsored stars and everything? I thought video games killed you, yo-yos, what are you doing here? And how is this a live show? Obviously if you’re not at the CMNYK Halloween double feature, you have to go to this show. Where it should again be noted something called Vandfald will also be.
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman Halloween Special, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
Oh hi there, CMNYK Halloween double feature. If you didn’t get your fill of classic movies and other junk on the big screen, then you’re in luck. For the second year in a row, there’s a CMNYK double feature of spooky/silly classic horror at the spooky/silly Darkside Cinema. At 7 p.m. it’s Vincent Price in The Tingler (1959) and then at 9 p.m. Arch Hall Jr. stars in the cult classic The Sadist (1963). For free. Happy Halloween.