8 Days a Week…

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11403413_1015777435108351_3110092690977929963_nThursday, 1

100 Watt Mind with And And And and Old Age, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. $5

Oh snizzlefry, show of the week right here, not to mention band name of the week. 100 Watt Mind will put down their reliably hard rocking excellence with the support of the best named band of the month to play Corvallis, And And And. And what you say? No, no, that’s the name of the band. See how great they are? They’re about to send us spiraling into an Abbott & Costello bit. Show of the week, for only $5. That’s a steal, don’t sleep.

Rusty Hinges, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free

Rusty Hinges is back to make the ‘Pooia explode. This is one of Corvallis’ most dedicated Americana acts, and you get to see them once or twice a month for free. There’s almost nothing that’s as good a deal as that, nor one that comes by to cheer you up as reliably. Not counting your neighbor who has boundary issues. Because, in his defense, I grew up around some really dense powerlines and I think I have social problems because of it now. Also streetlights just go off and on when I walk underneath them. So be nice.

Friday, 2

The Weather Machine and Making Out, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5

The Weather Machine is coming and these young Portland gents are handsomer then three Ryan Seacrests and a cigar box banjo. Lock up your daughters and sons, because these fellas are going to strum and croon their way right into your worst teen-pregnancy nightmares. If, on the other hand, losing your virginity to a looker with an instrument and a fine taste for Americana is what you’ve been itching for, then this is probably the gig for you. Plus Making Out is playing with them, so this whole night should be romantic as business.


Norman, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

Are you familiar with the band Polaris? They played the opening theme song to the classic Nickelodeon show Pete & Pete. They were terrific and hearing that theme song still makes me wistful and a little horny. Is Norman the new Polaris? No, they’re really not. But they are playing a show here, and Polaris is decidedly not, so who you gonna go see? Free show, and these guys play a pretty pleasant brand of alt-pop that should have you also feeling pretty nostalgic for Polaris.


Saturday, 3

Bush Pilots, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

This is your show of the week alert. One of Corvallis’ true gems, Bush Pilots, are back with a gig showing off their blazing alt-bluegrass. Their band name is also perfect for a college town. The blue hairs and baby boomers are probably all, “Bush Pilots; sounds like a great wholesome name for a few adventuresome fellas playing wonderful music.” Meanwhile the frat bros are all, “Heh, heh… bush… pilots. That should be the name of our frat!” See what I did there? Because bush is a euphemism for—oh, I see; you got it, you just didn’t think it was funny, huh? Fair enough…


Hearts of Oak and Barry Walker & Valerie Osterberg, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m. $5

Hearts of Oak is a pretty stellar country band that plays somewhat more vintage country music. If you’re looking for pop-country that has an anthemic chorus about a tractor/hot chick/beer, a rap verse with B.O.B. or a line about how things “used to be,” this is probably not the show for you. But if you’re looking for some really authentic-sounding old style country played by some really inauthentic-looking hipsters from Portland, pull up a chair, my friend, because you’re in luck. These dudes keep it so real they travel with a dead dog in the back of their tour bus for inspiration. Miss ya, buddy…


Sunday, 4

Aladdin, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 2:30 p.m. $15 ($10 for members, seniors, students)

Aladdin is unquestionably the best Disney animated feature ever. So will this stage adaptation of the story of a lucky little douche who stumbles upon a magic lamp hold a candle to the animated version? I have no doubts. For one thing, let’s just step back and marvel at the wordplay there: magic lamp, hold a candle? Eh? Eh? Anybody? Very well, moving on. This is a big cast song and dance British panto version of the tale you all know and love. That means there is going to be some audience participation, comedy, British sensibility out the yang, and possibly some terrible accent work. I strongly urge you to not miss this.

Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free

Alright there, Crusty Curmudgeon. You don’t want to get in on the joyous noise happening at The Majestic, fine. If only there was some way for you to participate in the local music and booze scene without betraying your hardcore grizzled crankiness… Think, dammit, think! Oh and you’re broke, too? Jeez, you’re not making it easy. Alright, so now we need a thing to do that a dusty old a-hole with no money, a certain fondness for depressing music, and a penchant for beer would like… Where could a person like that go? I have no idea…

Monday, 5

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free

Join Corvallis’ favorite jazz pianist for some of Scary Skaar October at the ‘Gine. Bryson will be dressing up as a half-decomposed corpse while he plays all October long. This has nothing to do with Halloween, of course, but is instead to raise awareness about Early Onset Decomposition, or EOD, a disease that afflicts nearly 10 million not-dead people each year. Bryson’s a big supporter of the cause, and with his help we hope to someday live in a world where almost nobody is walking around turning into a rotten corpse while still alive. All of what I just said is true, no exaggerations or jokes. Hard stop.

Dicemasters, Matt’s Cavalcade of Comics, NW Buchanan Ave. 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. Free

Speaking of dudes who appreciate a good zombie-themed cos-play concept, it’s Dicemasters! Roleplaying games are a pretty divisive issue. Not unlike climate change, you’re either into it, or you aren’t. And if you’re not into it, there’s pretty much zero chance you’re showing up to this event. So for those of you who are “into it,” I would be remiss in my duties as your life coach if I didn’t point out that you’re likely to meet your future spouse at this event or be lonely forever, so you know… uh, show up to this, I guess. Also, recycle, because climate change is totes a thing.

Tuesday, 6

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

I like to roll out the big names in a trickle at CMNYK. That is why I’ve waited over a year to dust off one of the best movies we’ll be screening at this kicka*s free weekly classic film series. It’s the uberlegendary Peter Sellers in The Smallest Show on Earth. This is a pleasure for us to screen at CMNYK for a number of reasons. For one, it celebrates the majesty of the old cinema like few other movies can. It’s a classic little tale about a couple trying to breathe life into a failing old movie theater. For another thing, it’s the first movie at Movie Night to feature Sellers, who is pretty much the greatest comedic actor of all time. For a third thing… well crap, I guess it’s only a pleasure for those first two reasons.



Celtic Jam, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free

Are you missing the weekly Tuesday night party? If you aren’t at the ‘Gine for Celtic Jam then you clearly are. This is my second favorite jam, just after Boysenberry, but ahead of Pearl, Space, NBA, and of course, Blues Jam. Will my favoritism towards certain free local jams over others end up in a showdown that pits friends versus family in an all-out battle for jam supremacy? I don’t know, probably? What do I look like? Gandalf? Figure it out yourself. But seriously, free Irish music played by a bunch of pleasant smiling Willameteers.

Wednesday, 7

Split Screens, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

Dizamn! Jesse Cafiero is good. The San Francisco-based multi-instrumentalist is on tour supporting his outstanding album, Before the Storm, under the name Split Screens. And it’s goddamn good. I’m not saying the local barrage of folk acts in town could learn a thing or two from Cafiero, who layers his eclectic pop folk with EDM, hip hop, and classic rock sensibilities, nor am I saying that he’s way better than you and you should consider giving up. But I’m not not saying that either, if you know what I mean. I can’t believe this show is free. Don’t miss it, or next week my safety-off spraying of sarcasm and “wit” could hit you, music-seeking peoples of Corvallis.


Wednesday Acoustic Live, Les Caves, 308 SW 3rd St. 8 p.m. Free

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: I have no idea who’s playing this show. I don’t know if they’re really acoustic, and I sure as heck don’t know if they’re really live. This could be undead music, or prerecorded music being Skyped in from a lazy band’s living room. How would I know? I’m just saying, there’s music a Les Caves. They call it Wednesday Acoustic Live, and if I understand their marketing scheme correctly, you should consider going to this show.

Thursday, 8

Free Range Open Mic, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

F yeah, Corvallis. Let’s rip the lid off this open mic night at Bombs. I’m saying let’s get legitimately rowdy and break some stuff. I’m not agitating you toward violence for no reason, it should be remembered, I’m just trying to get people hyped up about some local musicians putting it down for free. Open mic nights are the tasting flights of the local scene, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I don’t spit any of it into the bucket. I drink it all in and experience the hoppy aroma of our local musicians. Free Range Open Mic Night: use it as an excuse to get wildly out of control and have a good time.

Wild Hog in the Woods, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free

Speaking of hardworking locals putting it down for free, it’s been like 25 minutes since the last free Wild Hog show at the ‘Pooia. Guess who’s back? Don’t forget, this is music “totapatoeto” according to their website, so I think the message is clear: if you lost your toes to a gruesome frostbite incident from mountain climbing, you are explicitly not welcome at this event. Wild Hog has been known to wander off the stage mid-song and just start punching people who are not “tappingatoeto” their hot jamz. Just keeping it really real for you.


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