Back to School Comedy Night, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $3
Corvallis’s funniest expat (at least until I move away) Jeff Oliver is blowing back into town with a tugboat full of comedians from Portland and around the country to entertain us. This is most definitely one of the biggest bargain treats we get in town all year, so you have no excuse to miss it. Pro stand-up comics for $3 hosted by one of our own. I shouldn’t need to explain this to you, but just in case you’re a fan of that ventriloquist “comic” who does the skeleton dummy routine, these will be actually funny comedians. For $3. At Bombs. Go. Now. Just go.
Wild Hog in the Woods, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free
Is it fair to call these guys Benton County’s hardest working American roots music band? I think so. They describe their music as sleaze jazz. That’s also how I describe myself, so as you can guess, I love these guys. They play a lot and they play for free and there’s nothing more Corvallis than that. See them this week in Albany. (There’s nothing more Corvallis than that either!)
Scratchdog Stringband and The Desert Kind, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
Scratchdog Stringband was actually a cartoon before it was a musical act. They were conceived in 1995 as a wacky kids’ show about a dog who lives in a sink and gets in adventures with his best friend, a stick of string cheese. Unfortunately during the lengthy vocal casting process, Nickelodeon came out with Spongebob Squarepants, a hastily thrown together knockoff that nonetheless took off. Fearing for their future as entertainers, the cast of the cartoon decided to form a band. Fifteen years later they’re still strummin’-and-a-singin’. See them with The Desert Kind, which I was more excited for when I thought their name was The Dessert Kind, a band that plays a sensitive brand of Americana that will have you feeling stuff all over the place.
Mighty Majestic Blues Jam-B-Que, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $10 ($8 for members, seniors, students)
Oh hell yeah, blues music and barbeque. Fortunately this guaranteed-to-be-amazing event is happening at the Majestic, and now you’re benefiting a great venue, because I would straight up come to this thing even if they were holding it in a makeshift interrogation room in the basement of a CIA black site. Blues music from some of Corvallis’ local all stars plus barbeque (aka God’s food) at the Majestic for a reasonable-to-downright-bargain-basement price. Score.
Pete Kozak, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
You may recognize Pete Kozak from The Bushpilots, from his jamming with a dozen other local acts, or even from his star-making turn in An Adult Evening of Shel Silverstein at the Majestic. I recognize him as the dude who is in wildly much better shape than my dad is, even though they’re roughly the same age. Seriously, I’ve seen Pete Kozak with his shirt off, and hachi-machi, dude works out. He also plays mando, banjo, guitar, harmonica, and probably about 30 other instruments that make the folk/blues/country/classic rock he plays sound just right. Don’t be a rube and miss him playing for free.
Patrimony, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
Now if you are feeling particularly rube-ish and don’t want to catch Petey K for free at the ‘Gine, you can always go hit up Oregon’s patron saints (no pun intended) of hard rock, Patrimony, when they hit up their favorite monthly haunt, Bombs, for a $5 show. For the same price as this show, you can get one-and-a-half tacos from Taco Time and a cup of water. I don’t know about you, but seeing Patrimony is a much better deal. Also, why the hell is Taco Time so expensive?
Majestic Reader’s Theatre The Cover of LIFE, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 3 and 7 p.m. $10 ($8 for members, seniors, students)
Is LIFE still a thing? Any other people under the age of 60 out there want to back me up on this one? We have no idea what or why LIFE is/was a thing. Is it a magazine that gives you tips on living? Like a weekly life coach digest? Or is it some completely forgettable rag of nonsense and pseudo-journalism that flourished in the era before the Internet and instant accountability? Either way, there’s no doubt this play, and the fantastic Reader’s Theatre performers, won’t be well worth the price of admission.
Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free
If the Mighty Majestic Blues-B-Que didn’t sate your unending hunger for the blues, nor slake your bottomless thirst for jam sessions, then you’re in luck. You also may be some sort of weird blues vampire, but let’s stick to the things we can deal with in the short term. Blues Jam at the ‘Pooia; there’s no barbeque, and you won’t gain eternal life or otherworldly sexiness, but on the other hand, it is free.
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
Bryson Skaar, never missing an engagement at the ‘Gine; it brings a tear to the eye. Skaar is reliable and cute, like the puppy in one of those Budweiser commercials who creates a special bond with the Clydesdales. And we’re the Clydesdales. That’s right, you bunch of horse-faced goons. He’s a dog and we’re a bunch of ponies. Come see this dog and pony show every Monday, for free. But show up early, or you’ll be sitting behind a stable full of his diehard fans.
Dicemasters, Matt’s Cavalcade of Comics, NW Buchanan Ave. 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. Free
Now that the students are back, one would think it would be standing room only for Mad Matt’s roleplaying antics at the ‘Cade. And obviously standing in a room with 50 OSU students high on fructose corn syrup and engorged with fantasy roles to be played, is roughly as pleasant sounding an experience as standing in a room with 50 highly poisonous scorpions. But you haven’t thought this through. If the place is packed with students, that just means you stand a higher likelihood of seeing one or many of them trampled, pillaged, or otherwise disemboweled by a renegade squad of orcs or at least crushed by a giant boulder. Welcome to RPGs biiiiiiiiiitch!
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
What’s quite literally the only thing in town better than seeing a CMNYK screening on a Tuesday night at the Darkside? How about a double feature? This week I’ve got two terrific Sherlock Holmes classics, Terror by Night and Dressed to Kill, both from 1946 and both starring the inimitable Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce as Holmes and Watson. We’ll be watching them back-to-back with newsreels and cartoons beforehand, and an intermission in between the features. The movies are only about an hour each, so the best part is you get two movies, a host of extras, all for free, and you’ll be home in time for Scandal, or Grey’s Anatomy, or whatever godawful Shondaland show you’re all watching now.
Celtic Jam, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
In honor of Celtic Jam, our best and most devoted free local Celtic music outlet, I’ve given a try at composing a limerick. Here goes. There once was a woman from Corvallis, whose name was Oregon Alice. She loved cherries and Chinook, but didn’t know how to cook, and sort of thought the beaver statue in the MU on campus resembled a phallus. Sorry. Quips I’ve got plenty of; talent, not so much. For far better Irishing than what I’ve just displayed here, be sure to hit up Celtic Jam for free every week.
Revel’n, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free
Revel’n features local stalwarts Ron Snyder of Farm Stand String Band and Evelyn Idzerda of Mighty Warriors and Big Outside fame. Here they’ve come together to give Corvallis what we’ve really been missing: a band playing bluegrass and acoustic music while having a band name they clearly didn’t waste too much time coming up with. Stay tuned for next week’s array of shows which features Strumm’n, Relax’d, and Chillbroze, three bands that play… you know what, figure it out yourself.
Wednesday Acoustic Live, Les Caves, 308 SW 3rd St. 8 p.m. Free
Okay, so free was a bit of a mouthful. After all, you will be required to purchase food or drink in order to be welcomed into the establishment to see whoever is playing. Who is playing, by the way? Don’t ask me, I just work here. It could be someone great like Gumbo, or someone terrible, like me. But I have been meaning to bring up how passé it’s become, in my opinion at least, to update websites with events that are happening in establishments. Why use the universally recognized best tool for communication ever invented? Not when you can still tie a string to a soup can and hope the whole town hears about your event. At any rate, Wednesday Acoustic Live: it’s a thing, presumably, that’s happening.
100 Watt Mind with And And And, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. $5
Oh snizzlefry, show of the week right here, not to mention band name of the week. 100 Watt Mind will put down their reliably hard rocking excellence with the support of the best named band of the month to play Corvallis, And And And. And what you say? No, no, that’s the name of the band. See how great they are? They’re about to send us spiraling into an Abbott & Costello bit. Show of the week, for only $5. That’s a steal, don’t sleep.
Rusty Hinges, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free
Rusty Hinges is back to make the ‘Pooia explode. This is one of Corvallis’ most dedicated Americana acts, and you get to see them once or twice a month for free. There’s almost nothing that’s as good a deal as that, nor one that comes by to cheer you up as reliably. Not counting your neighbor who has boundary issues. Because, in his defense, I grew up around some really dense powerlines and I think I have social problems because of it now. Also streetlights just go off and on when I walk underneath them. So be nice.