Truckstop Honeymoon with Wildhog in the Woods, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $15 ($10 for members, seniors, students)
This show should be pretty nuts, despite all the Americana that’s gonna be blazing. Truckstop Honeymoon is terrific and they really seem in love. I know in real life they probably hate each other and were put together by some highly manipulative and abusive manager, but I like to imagine them as just a couple of starry-eyed dreamers who like to twang. By which I mean play music, not the sex move.
Curtis Monette, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free
Curtis Monette, just making extra sure we know he’s the king of Corvallis guitarery (that’s a word, right?) with another show at Bombs for free. The only way to get looping riffs for any cheaper than this would be to kidnap and drug Jon Stewart. The guitar shreddery on display here oughta keep you sated until the next time Curtis plays Bombs. In like three days or so…
Wups, Radion and Browntown, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Hands down the show of the week. Wups is a bunch of rock-blasting locals, fathers, business runners, and humans. Get to know them and their funky sound. Radion and Browntown are two more energetic local acts that rock the face off this town. I’ll take a lineup like this over three banjos and a jug player any day of the week. But of course, I sold my soul for rock ‘n’ roll. Plus my father was killed in a horrible banjo factory fire. Wait a second, does that explain my distaste for Americana? Hello? Breakthrough!
Blues Cabaret, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. $15 ($10 for members, seniors, students)
Dave Fleischner, Earl Thomas, Billy Mixer, and Jimmy Wilcox put on one of the rare innovative stage shows in town with this Broadway-inspired night of blues and jazz from a quartet of insanely talented and world-renowned musicians. Music and storytelling together on the stage? What a country! Sorry, that was a typo. That should have read, “What, country?” The answer is no, this will not be country music. I already told you, blues and jazz. See you there.
Symphony on the Land, Bald Hill Farm, 5700 SW Reservoir Ave. 6 p.m. $20 ($15 for GLT members and students, free for ages 16 and younger)
What is the Greenbelt Land Trust? I don’t know. Should anyone care? Again, I have no idea. Are they putting on some great music outside at the gorgeous Bald Hill Farm? I don’t know, man! Quit hassling me! What am I, a psychic who writes a weekly guide on what to do? Oh wait, I do write a weekly guide on what to do. You should do this. The money goes to a presumably good cause and the music will be great. Also, I’m getting a message for you. From someone you care about deeply who has passed on. Their name starts with an M… N… an L, maybe… Anything?
Praises for the World, Chintimini Grove, 311 NW Lewisburg Rd. 6 p.m. $25
Chintimini Grove vs. Greenbelt Land Trust. Fight! Seriously, though, in a knockdown dragged-out bout of fisticuffs between two good causes trying to raise money with wonderful outdoor events, who ya got? Chintimini is my steez, so I’ll be here. I put Greenbelt Land Trust on top because I won’t be there, and I feel like that should be a pretty big draw for all of you.
Casa Latinos Unidos Summer Fiesta, Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 12 to 8 p.m.
Casa is a great organization doing hard work, and now they’re inviting you to cut loose and have some fun with them. But not in a bloopers and practical jokes sort of way. Nobody has fun with practical jokes, and bloopers are so 2000 and late. The Summer Fiesta is boasting booths, art, music, food, togetherness, and a whole lot of other things. I’m not an expert, or a parent or anything, but I feel like this would be a good one to take the kids to.
‘Hops & Hounds’ Then Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 2:30 to 6 p.m. Free
Before he died, Burgess Meredith once related a well-known and oft-repeated truism of the stage: never work with dogs, baby boomers, or while you’re drunk. Well, Mick was wrong on this one. Retired racing greyhounds will be maxing and relaxing on the ‘Pooia patio before the semi-retired melancholics of Albany rock out some blues in a jam format. Old-a*s greyhounds just sitting there being awesome while I drink? Yes, please.
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free
Did you know Bryson Skaar isn’t even his real name? His given name is Skryson Baar. But he didn’t want to be confused for all the other Skryson Baars in the entertainment industry, so he jumbled it up. You know, to set himself apart. Well, his set will tear you apart, every Monday at the ‘Gine. Cool jazz, hot drinks, art on the wall, elderly people, working bathrooms… what doesn’t the ‘Gine have?
Yoga in the Gallery, The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m. Suggested donation: $5
At first I thought it said, “Yoda in the Gallery,” and I got very unexcited. Because Star Wars sucks, and I’m tired of it, and if you like it and would get excited by some Yoda-themed exhibit at the Arts Center, I hate you and your stupid opinions. But then I realized it was yoga, and I was like, “Oh, neat. Yoga in the gallery.” Jeez, that story seemed more eventful in my head…
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
CMNYK is so hot right now, CMNYK. Ygal and those nuts at the Darkside are kicking out the jams all summer long with more classics, newsreels, and cartoons in air-conditioned splendor on the big screen. This week it’s Alexander Korda’s The Private Life of Henry VIII, one of the best movies ever made, starring the portly and brilliant Charles Laughton. Ygal will be there introducing things, so if you’ve ever been annoyed by him or anything he’s written, or anything anyone else in this paper has written, and you’d like to make your feelings plain, the Darkside will sell you a bucket of rotting fruit to throw at him. Capitalism!
Concert in the Park, Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free
Ooooooooh snap! The two best things that happen in this town all year will be going head to head on Tuesday nights all summer. This week I gotta go with CMNYK because the movie is too good, but the Corvallis Community Band is goddamn terrific. And they play for free in the lovely gazebo area of the park, every Tuesday night all summer. If CCB maybe wants to sweeten the pot, with some backstage passes perhaps, or even some cash money, perhaps I could elevate them beyond CMNYK’s stranglehold on our attention on Tuesday nights…
Autism: The Musical, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free
Autism: The Musical is a 2007 documentary about a group of children with varying levels of autism and the success and trials they find in putting on a stage musical. If you haven’t seen it, you’re probably a terrible person. At least that’s the only explanation I can come up with. Here’s a great opportunity to see it on the big screen and simultaneously pretend it’s like the 17th time you’ve seen it. Nobody will know how terrible you are. Except me, of course…
Meet the Author: Linda Ly, Grass Roots Books, 227 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free
The gardener behind the popular blog GardenBetty, Linda Ly, will be at Grass Roots talking about and signing copies of her new book, The CSA Cookbook, which will help you pimp your weekly farmers’ market delivery so you don’t end up with a fridge full of rotting ______ (insert your least favorite dregs from the box here). I don’t really have a problem with my CSA box going to waste, though, because my box is delivered weekly by Circle K and it only has Twizzlers and Doritos in it. I’m a bit of a foodie…
Family Dynamic and Sojourner, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Don’t judge a band by its name. Not only is that roughly the same as choosing a bottle of wine by how colorful its label is, but it would also definitely mean you’d have to skip this show. But free rock and roll is thin on the ground. And for all you know both of these bands are terrific. Get your Bomb on with this pair of rambunctious alt rockers that will make you think as much as mosh… wait, do people still mosh? What goes on at a rock show these days?
Wildhog in the Woods, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany 7:30 p.m. Free
Totapatoe or not totapatoe? That is the question. The answer is clearly yes. Do tap a toe. Because Wild Hog is back, with their third show in 14 days and a whole lot of beardy folksy mayhem. Bring your moonshine jug and your washing board. Or actually, don’t bring a moonshine jug, this is a bar, you savage. But definitely bring a washing board, because these guys are definitely wearing clothes that could use a date with a laundromat…