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Thursday, 11

Free Range Open Mic Night, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I actually prefer factory-farmed open mic nights to free range. The meat is too stringy and muscle-y at the free range gigs. When I sink my teeth into the leg of an amateur rapper or a singer-songwriter, I don’t want to taste too much lactic acid. I like the plump fatty marbling you get from a guitarist who’s been raised in a cage, never moving their legs. I know, I know, there’s cruelty issues to consider, but I’m a real gourmand when it comes to open mic nights…

Wild Hog in the Woods, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free

Wild Hog is a local treasure. They should apply for historic landmark protection or something, because they’ve been around forever and while we all skip their shows too often and forget them from time to time, we’d also all throw a fit if some land developer showed up at their house with a wrecking ball threatening to tear them down and build a mini-mall. They’re like a community center in an 80s romantic comedy. Only much hairier and acoustic. This is music “totapatoeto,” so don’t show up without feet, unless of course you don’t have feet, in which case I’ll get started on my letter of apology for offending you right away.

Friday, 12

Downtown Dance, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. $10

Mastermind Katherine Sanders unleashes her 100-plus army of dance drones of all ages on the main stage for your rabid consumption. There’s going to be jazz dance, and hip-hop dance, and even something described on the website as “creative dances,” which I’m sure is meant as no insult to the very creative jazz and hip-hop genres. The premise behind Sanders’ creation is that “Everybody can dance.” Color me skeptical, but this sounds like a fun show.


Ship of Fools, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $10

One would think we wouldn’t need to import a Dead cover band from Seattle. I was sort of under the impression that in Oregon, Vermont, and parts of California you could pretty much throw a rock in any direction and have only a 10 percent chance of not hitting a dude in a pretty decent group of baby boomers who jam out Jerry’s stuff. One would be wrong. Here’s Washington’s most positively Yelped Grateful Dead cover band, taking a long, strange trip to Bombs for a sawbuck.


BMB_Saturday13Saturday, 13

Black Market Bargain and 5 on the Hour, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $3

Black Market Bargain sounds like some dudes who like Black Crowes and Black Keys a lot. I like them a lot myself. These dudes know how to melt a face, and they came here from Portland, which is a place you may have heard of. 5 on the Hour should already be well-known; they’re one of our stalwart local acts. And they also know how melting a face is properly executed. This is a well-rounded lineup—for once, it’s nice to see some complimentary rocking acts. I’m surprised they didn’t book one of these bands with the harp-playing Thormahlen couple.



Independence, Albany Civic Theater, 111 1st Ave. SW. 7:30 p.m. $12 ($9 for seniors, juniors)

ACT puts on Lee Blessing’s play 30 years after it first premiered, and it sounds like a corker. Evelyn Briggs and her three daughters confront their differing destinies in rural Iowa in this drama filled with revelations and catharsis. This feels like Thanksgiving at my parents’ house, which… is awesome. I tend to doubt there will be as much amphetamine use in this family get-together, but it should be a wonderful play.


Sunday, 14

Wine & Sign, Spindrift Cellars, 810 Applegate St., Philomath. 1 p.m. $60

Booze it up while you do some crafts at Spindrift with this delightful little deal. The cost of $60 gets you some wine and food and socializing while you take a three-hour class to make your own 18-inch by 24-inch sign. The event is led by the nice folks at Vermillion Drive Design, in conjunction with the nice folks at Spindrift. This feels like an event that is likely to be mostly people at or approaching the proverbial “golden years,” but for one thing, that’s a turn on to some people. And for another thing, they frequently have prescriptions for weed… I’ll probably be there.


Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free

I don’t want to say that the level of personal contentment these guys enjoy sort of sabotages the authenticity of their blues, but… I don’t really have a good finish to that sentence. These guys just don’t strike me as the my-wife-ran-off-with-my-brother-and-left-me-penniless-and-suffering-from-an-STD type of dudes who can really play the blues. I don’t know, maybe some of them will suffer some serious personal tragedies before this Sunday and this will be on a whole other level. Otherwise it will just be awesome.

Monday, 15

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free

Bryson Skaar be blowing up. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to his hot jam at the ‘Gine every Monday, but there’s so many ladies between ages 55 and 95 rocking out you’d think it was a Price Is Right taping. Skaar’s fingers tap out the hot jazz standards at a frenetic pace that will have your soy latte coming out of your nose, as well as other orifices. Don’t miss the party.


Yoga in the Gallery, The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m. Suggested donation: $5

I sort of prefer hot yoga, but when they tried that at the Arts Center I hear they accidentally damaged a bunch of pieces hanging on the walls and had a pretty big insurance claim on their hands. So this will just be a regular temperature yoga event amongst the art work. Not too shabby. Also, if you have a funky foot problem, I don’t know, like, maybe, you know, wear socks? Or even make a doctor’s appointment and get that checked out bro/sis. I’m just saying this because I care, not for any selfish reasons.

MovieNight_Tuesday16Tuesday, 16

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

CMNYK keeps on a rocking, and Ygal’s going back to the Alexander Korda well with this Korda-produced, Michael Powell-directed thriller starring the German legend Conrad Veidt. This is a brilliant WWII era mystery with great acting, plus the show is preceded by newsreels, cartoons, and other madness, and it’s all free. You could go to this, or I guess you could go see Pitch Perfect 2 at the Carmike. Or a third option would be to take a nap with your head resting on a fire ant hill. One of those seems obviously more excellent than the other two, but you have to make up your own mind. I’m not your dad. I mean, probably not…



Mango Django, Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free

These dudes play good jazz and they do it for free at a place where you can get a deli sandwich. So I pretty much consider them to be the most important and influential people in Corvallis. They make City Council look like the city sanitation department, if that makes any sense. Wait, does that make any sense? Mango Django: jazz so good it doesn’t even need coherent promotional material to be worth hearing live.


100Watt_Wednesday17Wednesday, 17

100 Watt Mind and Patrimony, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $3

These bands make a great bill, which is rare. And they’re the show of the week, so I’m sure they’ll be pleased and stick that little trophy in there next to their Northwest Independent Grammy. The NWIGs are like the biggest award in alt music. But seriously, this is going to be a hard rocking show from a bunch of hard rockers, and I love it. Three dollars is just a preposterous bargain. You can get into this show for the price of a couple Snickers bars, or like one-twelfth of a handy from a mid-range pro.



Corvallis Knights vs. Yakima Valley Pippins, Goss Stadium. 6:40 p.m. $6

What in the blue blazes is a pippin? It couldn’t be a baseball team named for the famous Broadway musical. Why would the Yakima Valley squad think that sounds like an imposing name? I mean, obviously I’m going to Google it now, but let’s just say I doubt it’s as imposing as say, a knight. It’s an apple? Yikes. I think I actually prefer thinking of this team’s mascot as Ben Vereen singing and dancing his a*s off in a Tony Award-winning performance for Bob Fosse. At any rate—Minor League Baseball. Catch the fever…


Thursday, 18

Truckstop Honeymoon with Wildhog in the Woods, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $15 ($10 for members, seniors, students)

Damn, Wildhog, getting in on the “8 Days” love twice in one eight-day stretch? Unprecedented. This show should be pretty nuts, despite all the Americana that’s gonna be blazing. Truckstop Honeymoon is terrific and they really seem in love. I know in real life they probably hate each other and were put together by some highly manipulative and abusive manager, but I like to imagine them as just a couple of starry-eyed dreamers who like to twang. By which I mean play music, not the sex move.


Curtis Monette, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

Curtis Monette, just making extra sure we know he’s the king of Corvallis guitarery (that’s a word, right?) with another show at Bombs for free. The only way to get looping riffs for any cheaper than this would be to kidnap and drug Jon Stewart. The guitar shreddery on display here oughta keep you sated until the next time Curtis plays Bombs. In like three days or so…


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