Farm Stand String Band, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Americana, my old nemesis, we meet again. This time it’s in the form of bluesy country fun-loving trio Farm Stand. Playing for free, these go-getters will win your heart. It’s good fun music, I don’t care where you’re from. Or how sick of Americana you are. Now I won’t say these guys could use a DJ, but I also won’t say these guys couldn’t use a DJ… Mysterious stuff, right?
Wild Hog in the Woods, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free
Wild Hog, back in action at their favorite haunt. I feel like the Duck Dynasty guys would love this band. But I’ve never actually seen Duck Dynasty, so I guess that’s just profiling. And it’s wrong. I apologize to everyone. But seriously, what can you say about Wild Hog in the Woods that hasn’t already been said about the movie Deliverance? These guys are a bunch of folk-slinging pimps. Oh, and I just got what “totapatoeto” means. I’m not the brightest.
The Sublimities, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m. Free
This is your show of the week, as award-winning dude-who-has-worked-with-his-highness-the-great-Frank-Black-of-the-Pixies, Mark Lemhouse, brings his fabulous instrumental surf rock project to Bombs, for free. I would see this show even if I were more contagiously sick then I already am. And one of my ears just fell off. So even if I don’t improve; see you there potential infectees! These guys sound like Link Wray, if he… I guess he just really sound like Link Wray. They don’t even have a modifier attached.
Escher Quartet – Chamber Music Corvallis, La Sells Stewart Center, Austin Auditorium, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. $29
If you’re the type of person to spend $29 on live music in Corvallis, then you’re in luck. The Escher boys are genuinely one of the best string quartets in the world, so $29 is actually a bargain, as insane as that sounds. Smetana, Faure, and Schubert are on the docket which will be undoubtedly wonderful. And the La Sells Stewart Center will be probably overflowing with wealthy 50-plus singles, so there’s that…
Bustin Jeiber and Psychomagic, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m. $3
If only I judged bands solely by their names… but fortunately for these two groups, I don’t. Bustin Jeibs are a fun little trio that drop some hot improvisational eclectic funk-infused madness. And Psychomagic is… magic. Check out this show of the week runner up and maybe pull the bands aside and advise them of their name situations. But tip generously first. It’s a bargain for some rock ‘n’ roll.
India Night, La Sells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 5 p.m. $13 ($10 for students)
Billed as “OSU’s largest annual cultural event,” the Indian Student’s Association India Night is one of my favorite things to do in Corvallis. Indian performances and food will be in the air and I will be there with discreet little plastic pouches on the insides of my jacket and pants to stuff extra food in. Fortunately they have no idea what I look like, so I’m giving nothing away here in my plan to loot the ISA for delicious free food. Suckers…
Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free
It’s like, where do you have to go to find some spirited amateurs busting out the blues? Amiright? Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, amiright? Occasionally you just need somebody to love, amiright? People who say amiright in ironic written quips should be shot, dig? Blues Jam at the Pooia. I feel I’ve characterized it accurately.
The Tao of Vegetable Gardening, First Alternative Natural Foods Co-Op South Store, 1007 SE 3rd St. 5:30 p.m. Free
Author Carol Deppe will lead a spirited talk about “practical methods as well as the deeper essence of gardening,” according to the press release. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds deep. I’m going to be there, so if you wanna hang, just look for the dude staggering around smelling of ether and bugging people for advice on how to grow peyote. Also I’ll be wearing a hypercolor T-shirt, so I should be pretty easy to spot otherwise.
Provost’s Lecture: Richard E. Besser, La Sells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. Free
Besser is the ABC News chief health and medical editor. He’s been on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and other programs. So I would probably show up to this interesting and nationally relevant speaking event and just hurl rude questions about Dr. Oz at him constantly until he cries. Oh yeah, and he reported a lot on the Ebola outbreak right from the front lines. So… run for it. That’s science, isn’t it?
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free
Jazz piano, my homies. It doesn’t get better than this, at least not in the Corvallis-Albany-Lebanon tri-city area. Bryson Skaar and me are tighter than any two people who have never actually met should be, so forgive my excitement. When you write about someone every week for as long as I have, you get emotionally invested. I named my first kid Bryson, and I’m going to name my first daughter Scar. I think we understand each other.
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 2 and 7 p.m. Free
CMNYK (nice initialism, guys) is busting out the big guns lately, and this week is one of their biggest yet. The brilliant and legendary director Preston Sturges and the equally great silent era star Harold Lloyd teamed up for a zany comedy in 1947 and gave us The Sin of Harold Diddlebock (aka Mad Wednesday). Now Ygal and the Darkside crew are giving it to you. For free. Show up. Donate. Eat popcorn. Live forever.
The Other Side, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. Free
This is the OSU athletic department’s annual talent show. That’s right, Corvallis. It’s look in your heart time; there’s so little else to do in this town other than Movie Night on this particular Tuesday night that I’m actually suggesting going to see a bunch of football players karaoke-ing Fallout Boy and volleyball assistant coaches spinning plates on the ends of sticks. It’s time to pack this town up and move to Albany. Or else maybe book Wild Hog on a Tuesday, I don’t know, I just work here.
Michaela Hammer, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. Free
Michaela Hammer is playing at Bombs. That’s about all I know about her because she doesn’t exactly market herself with too much tenacity. Let me put it this way; when Osama bin Laden was hiding from US drones in a cave in Pakistan, he still had a more robust online presence than this performer. It doesn’t mean she’s not great, though; I have a good feeling about this scrappy kid from who-the-hell-knows where.
Philosophy Talk with John Perry and Ken Taylor, Withycombe Hall, 2921 SW Campus Way. 7 p.m. Free
Those chatty philosophizers from Stanford, Perry and Taylor, will be recording a live episode of their popular show, Philosophy Talk, live from OSU campus. I am going to show up to this and just hurl unanswerable questions at them in the form of brutal insults. Let’s see them try their circular logic on a barrage of hateful insults. The topic of this episode is “Science and Politics: Friends or Foes?” The answer? Foes. Horrible, horrible, acid-in-the-face-throwing foes. Like me and Rachael Ray. She knows what she did…
Curtis Monette, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free
The Bombs’ website describes this looping shredmaster as an “axeman.” I can’t vouch for how good a serial killer he actually is, but he’s pretty impressive with a guitar. So in lieu of paying to see him go all Freddy Krueger on stage, you can see him go all… I don’t know, Freddie Mercury? Curtis Monette, my friends; his music is better than the writing of the people who promote him.
Rough Jazz, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7 p.m. Free
The last time I saw this band play, I had scraped-up knees and bandages on my elbows. Not having anything to do with their roughness, mind you, I just fell off my bike right before the show. Ironically, rough jazz is incredibly smooth. So seeing them for free, on a Thursday night, is a bona fide deal and half. More even, I’d go so far as to describe this as 3.267 deals.