This romantic and whimsical couple of nuts sold their earthly possessions and moved their whole lives onto a bus to tour the world playing each other’s music in a tag team performing consortium. That sounds like a better pilot for an HBO show about young artists cutting their teeth than it does a show I’d actually go to. But I’m much more discerning and hermitish than you. Plus I haven’t showered in 12 days. So I have an excuse to skip this. You don’t. Oh, and there’s an Oakshire Brewing tasting from 6 to 8 p.m. that’s free, too. Soooo, I guess what I’m saying is, can I use your shower?
Katie McNally Band, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $22 at the door ($20 in advance)
One magazine described McNally as “the new face of Scottish fiddling in the USA,” which is something I had always hoped to be myself one day. So I’ll be pettily and immaturely skipping this show to stay home and pout. You’d be pretty stupid to skip it though, because she’ll be busting out her not inconsiderable fiddle game with the excellent Neal Pearlman on piano and Shauncey Ali on viola. Sometimes the most talented musicians also make the best music.
Capers and XenSatori, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m. Free
Maybe you know Joe Withee from one of his many musical side projects, or maybe you know him as Joe Withee, the guy who lives next door to you and likes to stretch by the window in the morning with his robe hanging open. Either way, it’s obvious you all know Joe Withee. So why not check out his new project, Capers, when they hit the stage with poorly marketed but intriguing Portland act XenSatori. Xen described themselves as “the eternal search for self,” so… I guess, replace the word “intriguing” with… uh… what’s the opposite of intriguing?
Parents’ Night Out, Osborn Aquatic Center, 1940 NW Highland Dr. 6 to 11 p.m. Registration required. Cost: $15 for one child, $12 for multiple in advance ($20/$15 day-of)
Corvallis has wisely arranged a night where you can drop off the kids and go out for some adult fun. This presumably is occurring just in the nick of time, as some of you are currently eying the beams in the ceilings of your living rooms to see if they’ll support the weight of your swinging corpse. I’m not a hundred percent sure this is going to be as appealing to all parents as it will be to some. I mean, I’ve never felt the need to pawn my kids off on a building filled with piranhas, then again, I sent both of my kids off to boarding school when they turned three. Which is why they’re so well adjusted, little Timmy and… I wanna say… Carl? Yeah, Carl sounds right.
These guys can play on basically any bill in town, which is part of why I like them so much. I’d check out the Svens opening for a metal band, or playing after a burlesque show. They’re just the right kind of eclectic, by which I mean, they’re not annoying. Their core demographic seems a little on the older side, which is why I like to come to their shows wearing barely anything. Then I get wildly inebriated and totally out of control, and start running around the room asking for a ride home. That way the rich baby boomers know I’m open for business.
Downtown Swing & Blues Dance, Odd Fellows Hall, 223 SW 2nd St., 7 p.m. $7
I remember how disappointed I was the first time I went to the Odd Fellows Hall. No chairs on the ceiling, no doors or stairways that lead to nowhere, and certainly no anti-gravity sex dungeons. I don’t know, I guess the facilities are nice, they’re just not that odd. Neither were the fellows I met there. What’s that? Oh yeah, swing dancing. That’s what this paragraph was supposed to be about. OK then, enjoy this swinging experience with the decidedly normal people at the Odd Fellows Hall. And don’t hold your breath for an interdimensional toilet that flushes waste into the negative zone.
Hoolyeh Folk Dancers, First Congregational UCC, 4515 SW West Hills Rd. 7 p.m. $3 ($2 for First Congregational members)
I like to imagine these folk dancing aficionados gathering in a circle before festivities kick off and doing an all-hands-in cheer. Something like, “Are we the best Israeli and Balkan folk dancers in Benton and probably also Linn County? Hool-yeah!” But I’m also incredibly lonely… If only there was a free-to-inexpensive opportunity to meet nice people while learning to dance…
Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free
If I were one of the people organizing this enjoyable little jam sesh, I’d think about marketing my own line of delicious blueberry preserves called Calapooia Blues Jam. I’m not saying it would be a cash cow or anything, but I’d definitely buy some. But I also skipped breakfast today. If you’re hungry for some dirty blues, you should check out this weekly get-together. Now that’s what I call writing. Also, I’m copyrighting that whole blueberry “Blues Jam” thing, so you’ll be hearing from my lawyer…
Bryson Skaar is so reliable, I set my clock by him. Then he usually rolls over in bed and screams, “Oh my God, what are you doing in my bedroom? Are you winding a pocket watch! I’m both horrified and charmed by your old folksiness!” But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthier, less stalky relationship with Corvallis’ top-ranked Monday night jazz pianist. You could try just going to his show, for instance.
Traditional West African Dance Classes, Odd Fellows Hall, 223 SW 2nd St. 7:15 p.m.
Is it wrong to love a regional dance style as much as I love West African? It’s not. But it is wrong to show up to this event and ask the participants for autographs. On the one hand, they’re not famous and they don’t want to give out autographs to panting, wide-eyed goons that show up at their dance class, but on the other hand, I get pepper sprayed so much these days, sometimes I need the sting in my eyes just to get out of bed. I mean—um… Fefafe provides the music for this, so just go.
Community Movie Night is going western, under the watchful eye of Sheriff Kaufman, the curator of Corvallis’ favorite free screening series. Only the Valiant (1951) starring Gregory Peck is up for your consideration, and I consider this to be a rollicking, two-fisted western in the finest tradition. It was also released under the title Fort Invincible and when I brought a copy of it to the front desk at Blockbuster years ago, I was all, “So they’re manning a fort you can’t actually see? What’s the deal?” The clerk was all, “Invincible, you moron, not invisible.” No wonder they went out of business…
St. Patrick’s Day Festivities, Cloud & Kelly’s, 126 SW 1st St. 4 p.m. Free
If St. Valentine’s Day is the dumbest and most useless religiously linked holiday, St. Patty’s Day is clearly the most awesome. To be clear, I’m not advocating wearing all green and the other forms of douchery that permeate this day, just the heavy drinking. Booze is objectively awesome. The Incompatibles are on stage from 4 to 6 p.m., the Nettles from 7 to 9 p.m., and Corvallis Celtic Arts Irish dancers at 9:30 p.m. and DJing from Coudy Dee and Volatile from 10 p.m. until closing. Also, promiscuousness and poor decision-making will be making an appearance.
Gumbo is one of my favorite local acts, and this extra stripped-down acoustic formation is one of their best looks. Their name also makes me hungry, which is why it’s great to see them play at a good restaurant. Their gig at Burger King was sort of hit or miss, but I expect all hits at Les Caves. Might I suggest a sour bier to go with the smooth sounds? I’m training to be a sound-melier which entails making recommendations on booze and music pairings. After Gumbo at Caves, you may want to try Iron Maiden and Cheetos. Trust me, some things just go together.
Marilyn Jordan and Steve Sever, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. Free
Steve and Marilyn were both winners in the Wild Rose Studio’s Open Mic entry series last year, so you may recognize their faces and guitars. This of course means their stars will soon be cemented into the Walk of Fame in Hollywood, but if you want to see them for considerably less money, they are playing for free at Bombs. Based on their pictures alone, I anticipate acoustic ballads and feelings galore. Maybe bring a date, or maybe bring a family member you want to reconcile with. This is reconciliation music… I imagine.
Usually I give a “show of the week” alert so you know which unmissable live performances you really shouldn’t miss. Well, let this serve as your “show of the year” warning. Gift of Gab, the MC from the legendary hip-hop duo Blackalicious, returns for another stop in Corvallis. I can’t for the life of me figure out why he loves playing here so much, or why he loves playing such a small venue, but I also don’t spend too much time asking why when I find money on the street either. Sometimes you just gotta thank your lucky stars and be on your way. Don’t give Gab a reason to not come back every year; let’s pack the house and show him why the Valley is so fresh to death.
Rough Jazz, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7 p.m. Free
Jazz is America’s art form, so you should take every opportunity to experience it played well. Here’s a great opportunity for something like that at “the poo,” which is what I would call this place if I weren’t trying to get them to advertise with us. Calling it “the ’ya” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. But seriously, Rough Jazz; definitely worth the cover price.