By Sidney Reilly
Here’s the thing about lists; we all know they’re terrible. And they’re nearly impossible to get a hundred percent right, or complete, unless the list is something like ‘Best Fast Food Sandwich Shops Named After Public Transportation.’
But lists can also serve a valuable purpose and we don’t want to buck the tsunami like power lists have over readers. Our focus group testing has shown time and again that offering free pizza to focus group participants doesn’t mean they’ll give you positive feedback about your alternative weekly newspaper. But they’ve also shown a real connection to lists as a way to know where to get things like sushi, coffee and illicit drugs.
So here we are, back to our annual list of Corvallis’ best places to get anything. Except illicit drugs. Just shoot me an email on that one.
Our methodology is simple: no voting, no debating, and no names. Just a room full of anonymous writers shouting over each other, and occasionally engaging in fisticuffs, to prioritize our favorite places to eat and drink in Corvallis.
Did your favorite place not get mentioned? Well geez, sorry pal. There’s nothing scientific about the list of places to get burgers. At least not since we removed the OSU Science Department Cafeteria from the list…
So do the Corvallian thing; take all our advice unquestioningly, until you realize that it’s all subjective, then bombard the paper with death threats addressed to Sidney Reilly. Enjoy.