Review: Sleepy Hollow – Spoiler Alert: Myth, Magic, and… Machine Guns?

I’ll let you in on a little secret that nearly every science fiction or fantasy fan already knows – most of what prime time television has to offer in the way of these genres is garbage. Aside from some truly great exceptions, it’s like some greasy executive somewhere decided to take everything you love and slather it up with Pantene (see: Lost) until all that was left was a bunch of emotionless, eyebrow-heavy stares and out-of-place high school-style drama that leaves you stupider for having witnessed it. Where does Sleepy Hollow fit in on this spectrum? So far, it’s a little hard to tell.

sleepyhollowTo start with the premise, we have a magically healing Ichabod Crane that has gone from weasel to elite ninja warrior badass. Somehow he survives two centuries while passed out in a hole in the ground, and is awakened when the Headless Horseman comes back because, well, that’s the plot. It’s pretty much as dumb as it sounds, and yes, without a bath, Crane’s hair is way too nice to have sat in a hole for that long. Just saying.

Moving along – and zooming right passed Crane’s new “I’m so gullible I’ll believe you after 10 minutes!” sidekick – we have the lovable John Cho, who is apparently trying to reinvent himself as a serious actor. I just don’t know what to say here. You don’t pick a show with this kind of script if you’re looking to do anything but make a mockery of yourself. For his sake, I hope there’s something fantastic in store for his character, because if not… he’s not walking away from this without his career taking a shovel to the face.

As the pilot episode moved on, what can only be described as a “climax” was reached when the Horseman went full Rambo, strapped himself up with a bunch of guns, including an iconic shoulder-strap ammo belt, and proceeded to unload on a cop car. Wait, what?

It was at this point that I thought to myself, hmmm. Could this actually be a brilliant B movie-style er, romp… of sorts? I can admit it, I’m not sure anyone will really know until we’ve hit at least episode five or six. The potential is there, but it could also just be that whoever is in charge has the mentality of a 10-year-old with two brain cells and a blood alcohol level of nine billion. It is literally so stupid that I’m having a hard time believing that it isn’t that way on purpose. And if that’s the case? I’ll accept it with open arms.

By Johnny Beaver

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